Fucking Short Bus Kids Get All The Cheese

Guy to bartender: "lemme get the casadilla. And some cheese on dat."

Bartender: "what u think you're special?"

Guy: "I AM special. I had to take the bus here and wear a helmet. The whole bit."

Bills Olde Tavern

Overheard by Scottie Onetime

Brad Pitt's Martial Arts Expert Common-Law-Wife

Two guys talking about recent movies:

Guy: "I liked dat other one too wid Johnny Depp and Ang Jo-lee-a"

Bills Olde Tavern

Overheard by Scottie Onetime

Lesser Known Rosa Parks's Demand

5-year-old white boy to mom:" I want to sit next to the window! Why does he get to sit next to the window?" [points to an old man] "Is it because he's black?"

Paoli/Thorndale Line

Overheard by Anna

When I'm Sixty-Four

Sixty-ish couple at the supermarket:

Hubby: "Here's what we came for" (pulling something off of the shelf).

Wifey: "No, that's not it. We want this." (puts back what hubs took, takes different item.)

Hubby: "So sorry, Uncle Albert."

Mayfair Shop Rite

Overheard by PaulMcCartneyLives

Whatever Works.

Mother to her 2 teeenage children: "You better fucking behave or it's going to be a Kmart Christmas"

The children suddenly went silent.

The shops at Liberty Place

Overheard by Michael G

Gotta get Your Fix Somehow

Guy picking cigarette butts off the ground: ‎"Don't worry, people, this is just what drug addicts do when they run out of money."

Frankford Terminal

Overheard by Phoebe

Nope, Just Male.

20 something guy to a girl adjusting her top: "What are you doing pushing them both together to make one good one?"
20 something girl: "You're an asshole"

Outside Rotten Ralph's in Old City

Overheard by Michael G

Homeless People Have All The Good Lines

Homeless man asking for money: "Give me a dollar so I can join the 1%"

Broad and Locust

Overheard by Michael G

Two Balls Enter A Bar...

guy 1 - "And then the penis walked through the door and slammed into the wall!"
guy 2 - *shocked look on face*

15th street between lombard and south

Overheard by jigi

Truth: It's What's For Dinner

Teen girl 1: "People always want me to stop talking because I talk too much, haha!"

Teen girl 2: "No, people want you to stop talking because the things you say are stupid..."

South Street

Overheard by Claire

They Went All Oscar The Grouch On Her Ass

Two guys on the street:

Guy 1: "Stay in the trash can."
Guy 2: "I don't want to stay in the trash can."
Guy 1: "If you want to have fun, stay in the trash can."
Guy 2: "I don't want to stay in the trash can."
Guy 2: "It's perfectly safe - stay in the trash can."

NoLibs

Overheard by the anti-littering ads seem to be working

They'll Never Have Paris

Two young women talking before the start a play.

"I've heard France is very hoity toity. I want to go but I'd be heartbroken if I went there and I wasn't good enough."

Rittenhouse Square

Overheard by Scoats