Bar Of Soap Is His Kryptonite

Crazy homeless man: "I fight like Superman" (punches the air with both fists)
"See, I don't need no weapons!"

Corner of 10th & Market

Overheard by Mad Mike

Team Taco

Trendy Odd Future fan: "I mean, he a snitch... But he smart, dog."

Chestnut & 16th

Overheard by vapidcunt

Jazz Hands FTW

Two 20 yr olds running towards the bus stop.

One starts falling back & the one in front says: "I didn't take that dance class for nothin!"

16th & walnut
Overheard by pbenjamin

Sodium Misogynist

guy: "lemme get a couple pretzels."

cashier: "do you want salt on them?"

guy: "yeah i want salt...."

*screams to friend at a table*
"DO YOU WANT SALT ON YOUR PRETZEL? OR ARE YOU A GIRL?!"

hall of fame in the phillies stadium
Overheard by tracy

If They Were Only So Lucky

"Maybe the homeless people use them as bidets." - One pretentious Rittenhouse cyclist to another about the late night park sprinklers

Rittenhouse Square
Overheard by Unimpressed

Way To Go Todd!

Red Sweater Girl: "So this will be my first date in a while"

Guy walking with her: "But you went out with Todd, he bought you dinner, wasn't that a date?"

Red Sweater Girl: "It wasn't a date, he bought me dinner, I bought him breakfast, and we fucked, so we're even, so that was totally dutch and not a date!"

West Philly, Baltimore Avenue
Overheard by Oye!

Best Spam To OHiP Ever

Burglar: "Can I have a lift?"
Home owner: "Sure, where can I drop you?"
Burglar: "To your home."
Home owner: "surprised with wide opened eyes."

If you don't have Alarm System this can happen to you as well.

from a burglar
Overheard by Rroma Ray

Lattes?

Two guys walking past:
Guy 1: "well mines thick, so it just sits there on top."

work
Overheard by Scottie Onetime

I'm Sure He Meant Well

Guy #1: I'm gonna buy my mom a new stove.

Guy #2: You should get her a convection oven.

Guy #1: Fuck you!

Unruh Avenue, Tacony
Overheard by Lindsay

No Wonder They Choked

Guy in crowd at Phil's game: "COME ON! YOUR MOM SWALLOWS!"

other guy: "hey cool it man"

guy 1: "whatever"

other guy: "she swallows apple peels"

guy 1: "no...SHE SWALLOWS CUM!"

Phillies Stadium
Overheard by smh

(yes, I am still bitter)

Expanding One's Vocabulary

10 year old boy, talking to 8 year old boy: "She's NASTY and ugly. She's ugly as shit!"

19XX Christian Street
Mad Mike

Wouldn't That Be Someone Who Bangs Taggers?

While I'm checking out the local graffiti -

Random Guy On Street: "HAY ARE YOU A TAG-BANGER?"

Me: "What the hell...no."

15th and Walnut
Overheard by Jabba Jawz

Decisions, Decisions

Female Co-Worker: "My husband's not going to be home Satuday so I figured I'd come in and do some overtime."

Male Co-Worker: "Or, you could just stay home and have an affair."

My Cube Farm
Overheard by TPS Report

The One With The Corn In It

40ish lady to another: "...and don't be giving me crap. I want the good shit."

work
Overheard by Scottie Onetime

Never Trust Anyone Over 30

Guy : "I was going to egg her car but then I thought, I'm 31 years old. "

Bridget's modern steakhouse Ambler

Overheard by OHiP

Teenagers: Always Looking For People To Notice Them

Two teenage girls are shopping around

Girl 1: {says something about someone}

Girl 2 shouts so everyone within walking distance can hear: "Go and tell her that's BULL SHIT!"

Rittenhouse Square
Overheard by there are kids around