Barney?

Guy: "I just got a silver medal in....aahhhh, 'awesomeness'."

Eulogy

Overheard by Betsy Von Awesome

Insert Something Racist About Water Crackers Here

Woman: "Keelber Tolehouse is good with white people because it's the whitest cracker around. It really is!"

O'Neals South St.

Overheard by BetsyVonAwesome

It's All Just A Different Fetish

Older woman: "You know she used to be really skinny. And that was all her mom bragged about, what her waist size was. 35 years later... that waist is not so skinny anymore."

Younger woman: "Yeah, that's because now that measurement includes her saggy boobs."

South Jersey Diner
Overheard by Currrly

Acceptance Is The First Step

Teen boy on cell phone: "No, you talk to her! (hands off the phone) Here, take it! Take it!"

Heavily pregnant woman with matted blonde hair, into phone: "Hello... Why'm I in debt?... 'Cause I'm an idiot."

Wawa, Frankford & Harbison
Overheard by Lindsay

I Apologize On Behalf Of All Non-Asshole Men

Actual Pick-up Line: "Are you Irish? Coz' when I see you my dick is Dublin."

DixieLuxe

Overheard by BetsyVonAwesome

Pointy Haired Boss Says What?

Supervisor (30 minutes into teleconference): "The only way these phone conferences help is in explaining things we're unfamiliar with."

Aramark Tower, 11th & Market
Overheard by Mad Mike

Tag Team Back Again!

2 ladies searching for file on computer. Upon finding it:

Lady 2: "Whoop, there it is!"

work
Overheard by Scottie Onetime

The exact moment "dad" became "baby-daddy"

Pretty blonde mom with a toddler talking on the phone: "What do you mean you'll call me back if you feel like it!"

Fairmount

Overheard by B&N guy

Gateway Drugs

Woman: "My girlfriend did corn liquor and she passed out right in front of us and I said, "Oh No!". So we just smoked weed."

Downtown
Overheard by OhYesWeDid

Is It Disguised?

Three 20-something guys walking by the Continental:

Guy #1 "What is this place?

Guy #2 "I don't know."

Guy #3 "I think it's a fuckin' diner!"

Chestnut Street @ 18th
Overheard by Mad Mike

Game Over Man! Game Over!

Two women hanging on their stoop, yelling jovially across the street to an 8-months pregnant woman walking by on her way to the car before commuting to work, "You ready 'bout to BURST!"

On the streets of Southwest Center City (yeah, yeah, it's still G-Ho)
Overheard by Andrew on the Bus (not on the bus)

I See Shoe People

50ish lady walks in breakroom: "Hi xxxx how are you?"

Other 50ish lady: "I'm old and have no peripheral vision anymore. I didnt even see you."
(5 seconds later)
"OOOOOO look at those shoes, they're cute!"

work
Overheard by Scottie Onetime

Targeting Exercise Doesn't Work

Woman on conference call: "Is anyone participating in the wellness program? They give you a cute little pedometer."

Man on conference call: "I barely leave my desk all day, it's not happening for me this year."

Woman: "That's ok. I'm counting my trips outside to smoke a cigarette as my exercise for the day."

(general laughter)

Woman: "What? I have to walk the whole block to go out back and smoke, it counts if I do it 5 or 6 times a day!"

1500 Spring Garden
Overheard by Currrly