For Some Definitions Of Internat'l

S. Philly guy: "I don't date S. Philly girls. Only internat'l ones."

Girl: "well, any girl outside of S. Philly IS internat'l"

South Philly

Overheard by betsyvonawesome

Sign Me Up!

Guy to girl: "are you a professional drunk? Or an amateur?"

At London Grill At the Dunk Tank
Overheard by betsyvonawesome

Usually I Just Sit Home Alone In My Apartment

Guy: "I haven't been around this many teens and gays since the Spice Girls Reunion concert."

At the Glee Live Concert.

Overheard by Aeshby

She Does It Cause She Hates You

Coworker: "Ugh. It's getting dark out again."

Other coworker: "Seriously? Mother Nature needs some happy pills. This back and forth, sun to rain bi-polar shit has got to go!"

In the cube farm
Overheard by Frogger

Beer For A Dime? I Am SO There!

Girl: I'm so glad we get paid this week. I'm spending my last dime on beer.

IPA Dance party
Overheard by betsyvonawesome

Thanks. Now I Feel Old.

8yr old boys pointing to a parked car w/puzzled looks

Mom explains: "It's a station wagon - people drove them before we had SUVs"

Overheard by _April_Lynne

Not At All Creepy

A couple walking by a field where kids are playing baseball.

Guy: "I want to go play baseball!"
Girl: "You can't just go play with some random kids."
Guy: "Why not? They have short stubby legs and I'm outta shape. It evens out!"

Baseball field
Overheard by Frogger

0.00819668%

During The Totally Unnecessary Drink karaoke event

"I'm singing this song because, I was so excited to find out I share a birthday with Johnny Cash. Then I found out Micheal Bolton also has the same birthday."

"But I'll still sing the song."

Fergies
Overheard by onedrinkmore

Well....Good For Him?

3 girls walking down the street w/ a couple:

Girl #1: "I wonder what Jeremy would look like with a beard."
Jeremy: "I had a beard!"
Girl #2: "So, Jeremy, you really had a beard?"
Jeremy: "Yes, I just shaved it off just yesterday."
Girl #1: "Did you look like your father?"
Jeremy: "I'll show it to you if you want."
Girlfriend (laughing): "Stop. He's just going to show you his penis. (pause) It makes me happy!"

Christian Street @ 20th

Overheard by Mad Mike

Is This A Strip Club Or A Litter Box?

Not hot-at-all blonde stripper says to the not-so-bad brunette about the smoking hot girl up dancing on the stage:
"She may be hot & have great natural boobs but I can totally see the snail trails on her panties in the changing room"

Not-so-bad- brunette replies:
"You're just jealous because your nose could have it's own zip code."

Daydreams nude strip club

Overheard by lapdancemeplz

Not Sure This Is Good Advertising

Blonde stripper: "Bitch outed me on my FB wall that I work here.And that I was out cheating again on my boyfriend getting stuffed with dick.So low class."

Brunette Stripper:"Holy Sh*t! Well were you out with another guy that night again?"

Blonde stripper: "Uh a few yeah, but they're customers so that doesn't count as cheating"

Brunette Stripper:"Wow, you must have a bad case of vag crickets"

Day Dreams strip club

Overheard by lapdancemeplz

We Are Failing Our Children

Three quite unhealthy-looking women smoking under the Graduate Hospital "No smoking here" sign, holding their respective kids in the hand that wasn't holding the cigarette.

One woman says, "You're damn right. I don't know why, but every time I used to get high, I'd just start crying every time."

Walking past the Graduate Hospital "No Smoking Here" Sign

Andrew on the Bus (walking past said locale)

Try Vodka Instead

Guy n girl discussing a house they're considering renting.

Girl: "but the neighbors on either side are like 100 yr old ladies. They'd always be complaining about the noise."

Guy: "well im sure it wouldn't be that bad."

Girl: "whatever. I'll just bring them over coffee and smooze the fuck outta them. Old bitches love me."

Acme

Scottie Onetime