Sleep With One Eye Open, Gripping Your Pillow Tight

Girl to bf: "I was so mad at u this morning I was contemplating stealing the chloroform from chemistry class n waiting til u got home to knock u out with it. Then I was going to take the frying pan and hit u as hard as I could in the head. That way when u woke up with the worst lump n headache ever I could be like 'oh honey u fell in the kitchen n I saved your life.' I just wanted to hit u so fucking bad."

Bf: gives incredulous look of "what the hell?"

Girl: "what? I didn't do it..."


Bills Tavern
Overheard by Scottie Onetime

The Ring On His Finger Wasn't A Giveaway?

Hipster girl on cell phone: "Yeah, I fucked him...his [Facebook] status didn't say 'in a relationship' or 'married' or anything so I thought it was fair game..."


16th and Latimer
Overheard In Passing

To Get Drunk?

Dumb roommate while watching Boardwalk Empire:

"So wait, if alcohol was illegal why did people still drink?"

Levvittown
Overheard by The same reason that people do drugs even though they're illegal

Practice Makes Perfect

OMG! That subway ride in NYC! I wanna hear about how slutty she is! I wanna be more slutty, but I'm just no good at it! I've seen it on tv and stuff.."


Time Midtown, Center City Philly
Overheard by meggiemacabre

When Mom Is An English Teacher

Mom and teenage daughter are waiting in bathroom line.
Girl: "Fuck this, I'm getting outta here."

Mom: "Watch your language!"

Girl: "Fuck this, I'm leaving."


The Gallery
Overheard by wetsyvonlame

I'll Bring The Lipton

Girl 1: "My friends just had a baby boy."
Girl 2: "Nice."
Girl 1: "I'm so excited for the brisk!"
Girl 2: "Do you bris?"
Girl 1: "Ummm. Yea. Hello, Gentile in the house!"

At Work
Overheard by Member of the Tribe

And It Is The SCHOOLS That Are Failing!?!

Old black grandmother to her 3 year old granddaughter: "Shut your mouth FOREVER and don’t make me beat you on the El in front of these people."

on the lovely El
Overheard by chaz

The Slow Economy Has Got Us All

Two druggies talking loud as shit on the sub:

Guy: "I can get money whenever I need it, cuz u know..imma drug dealer."
Girl: "I know"
Guy: "Yea and besides my whole family is rich. My brother makes $86,000 a year!"
Girl: "No way my family's rich too!"
--------(after some time)
Girl: "I think he's gonna kick me out though".
Guy: "Well thats cool you can come stay wit me, but only for a night, not like a month or anything."

Broad Street Line
Overheard by George Perri

Cigarettes and Cheese

Panhandler on the El: "Did I say can you spare some food? No! I said can you spare some change. Like I want you stupid ass food."

Market-Frankford El
Overheard by Chelz

So Did My Five-Year-Old, Congrats!

Penn Undergrad: "Yesterday I had a quiz on colors."

Locust Walk
Overheard by Tuition Costs How Much?

Public Service Announcement

(Otherwise normal looking but actually secretly gross) woman on the phone while shopping: "Yeah, every 3 months I go into Viky's Secret and switch the tags from new bras with my old ones"


Croydon
Overheard by Never Shopping at VS Again

High Finances Of The Crazy And Unloved

Woman: "Does they take debit Cards at that store?"

Man on phone: "What are you going to buy?"

Woman: "Cigarettes and Cheese."

Man on phone: "Do you want cash back?"

Woman: "I'm not looking for cash back, man, not for just some cheese."

47 bus in the hood
Overheard by Aegin Cheese Krossant

The New Feminism

Girl 1: "Why did you hook up with him?"

Girl 2: "My vagina told me to do it."

Market street
Overheard by Allie!

She Picked A Real Winner Here

Girl: "why don't we finish this drink and go home and snuggle and maybe we can play a game."

Guy: "is the game "take a smelly poop?'"

Girl: "ewwww. no, i meant fool around."

Guy: "I think I'd rather play 'take a smelly poop.'"

Silk City
Overheard by Scottie Onetime

Don't Do The Crime If You Can't Do The Time

Overheard at Campo's Deli just now: "I can't get arrested -- my brother's getting married tomorrow and I don't want to miss the wedding."

Campo's, 2nd and Market
Overheard by Anonymous

I Need This Diagramed

Woman on her cellphone, sounding a little (but not significantly) bothered, "You took me to court. I didn't show up. They granted her custody of the kids. That just how it goes."

walking past 20th and Christian Street
Overheard by Andrew on the bus (not on the bus, obviously)

867-5309

White teenage girl to guy friend: "Did you leave my number at the Riverview again? I'm getting all these calls from some Mexican woman, she sounds really angry!"

South phillly
Overheard by lil gangsta 215

You Aren't What You Eat

Female Co-Worker: "People used to tell me I wasn't black enough because I didn't eat greens."

Male Co-Worker: "Well, just so you know, I do eat lettuce and I'm as white as they come."

My Cube Farm
Overheard by WD 40

Racist Gender Roles

Hipster dude: "Man, I could eat Mexican food every day. I need me a Mexican wife, that's what's gotta happen."

Taco Rienda
Overheard by iceman

Godwin's Law Makes Me Cry

Woman: "Did you watch America's Next Top Model last night?"

Guy: "Yes! Did you see that one with the ribs? She looked like she came fresh out of a concentration came. She was like a Holocaust survivor or something!""

My Cube Farm
Overheard by WD 40

Call It Like You See It

Two girls, one Asian, one with a pink bob, are presumably new roommates and are discussing some household issues, somewhat argumentatively.

The conversation then turns to some type of sorority they are members of.

Asian: Sarah's ok, but she's really feminist, like REALLY feminist.

Pink Hair: "Well, that's probably ok-"

Asian: (In all seriousness) "Like, she doesn't like it when people use the word slut. And like, sometimes girls really are sluts, and they need to be called sluts."



Temple University- Student Activities Center (The SAC)
Overheard by SEspo

My Brain Is Completely Empty

Landscape architect responding to her client's inquiry, after presenting a proposal for new landscaping plan: "My thoughts are not thoughts other than what we talked about."

Chapterhouse Cafe in the now somehow yuppified almost-SouthPhilly
Overheard by Andrew on the bus (not on the bus, obviously)

Those Marriage Vows Are Negotiable, Right?

woman on cell phone: "he has all this resentment just because she cheated on him and had a baby with another man... he cheated on her too he just didn't make no baby so what's the difference"

Ferry Ave Patco Station
Overheard by more confusing than watching maury

Marriage Counseling Is Working?

A man and woman, in their 50s, both looking a bit strung out. Both are wearing Phillies shirts, and walking east on Walnut.

She starts to light a cigarette, and looks up at him suspiciously: "Don't go looking at me like I'm a problem!"

Walnut St, near 11th
Overheard by Rhet