Ugly American Strikes Again

Guy: " You're from Denmark? G'Day mate!"

Fergie's BeerWeek
Overheard by Betsyvonawesome

Guy: "I'm from the East side of Philly."

Girl: "where?"

Guy: "New Jersey"

At Drinkers, Rittenhouse
Overheard by

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The New "Big-Boned"

Girl 1: he looks a little chunky for a spinning instructor.

Girl 2: no he's not, he's barrel chested.

Spinning Class?
Overheard by Betsyvonawesome

In North Philly It's Wings

Drunk guy to a drunk girl: This is South Philly, so don't step into this puddle or you'll grow gills!

South Philly
Overheard by Almatinka

Depending How You Define Labels

Girl talking about a guy she's dated for 3 months: " we don't use labels but we are 'Exclusive'."

At work.
Overheard by Betsyvonawesome

Momma Always Said

boyfriend reaches from behind and grabs girlfriends 'gina and shakes.

girlfriend: "HEY!! ITS A FLOWER, DO NICE!!"


Khyber
Overheard by S.1T

Life, Liberty, and....

Cute blonde woman: "Everyone should have a midget on a string."

While watching Flash Gordon
Overheard by Chaz

Raised Him Right

While waiting for the subway ...

Father: "Damn, where is the train?"
5 Year old Son: "Up your butt?"


City Hall subway station
Overheard by well that explains why its taking so long

That's The Best Kind!

One fat old lady to another (possibly recapping her shenanigans?): "....And it was not just sex - it was foot sex!"

(I wish I could hear the entire conversation...)


Target in Abington
Overheard by Almatinka

Jazz Always Brings Out The Racism

Girl (at the experimental jazz-syntho-pop concert): "Wow, I never knew white guys can dance so expressively!"


North Star Bar
Overheard by Almatinka

Happy Friday!

At the sexuality workshop.

Moderator: "Raise your hand if you had sex this past week."
Girl: "With a human?"


Center City
Overheard by Almatinka

Isn't That A First Date Thing?

drunk 20-something girl: "I can't believe my husband isn't here. I need to get his phone number so I can call him and find out where he is."

Seaside Heights Beach Bar
Overheard by S.1T

SEPTA Cares About Customer Service

Clueless white girl (who was obviously riding the subway for the very first time in her life): "Which station is closest to Fairmount?"
SEPTA guy (cheerfully but sarcastically): "Fairmount? "Fairmount"!!"

Hunting Park station
Overheard by Almatinka

Espionage Is Hot!

British guy (jokingly, to a Slavic girl): "Good thing they didn’t arrest you along with those Russian spies, eh?"

Slavic girl (seriously, after some thinking): "How do you know "I" wasn’t arrested?"


Elkins Park station
Overheard by Almatinka

You Can Only Use It If You Are One?

Black Woman: "It's gonna be a while 'til the 8th and Market train comes."

Asian Kid: *gasps* "How are we gonna get to chink town then?!"


Eerie Station
Overheard by He said it, Not me

Only Against Uppity Hipsters

People at a party talking about their occupations.

Guy: "I work at Crate & Barrel."
Girl (mishearing him): "Oh, Cracker Barrel!? You guys still discriminate and stuff?"


South Jersey
Overheard by Almatinka

A Clear Sign Of Alcoholism

A pregnant co-worker brought donuts to let everyone know that she is having boy. She wrote the word “BOY” on the box of donuts.

A clueless office guy (reading a sign): “B.Y.O.” what?


Jenkintown
Overheard by Almatinka

Street Vendor or Wawa?

Girl 1: "Wow. He's really tan, really....."
Girl 2: "Pretzel like?"

at the IPA beer club at Brauhaus Schmitz
Overheard by Betsyvonawesome

Our Entire Financial System Is Based On This Concept

Guy talking to his girlfriend: "It doesn't matter if I blow it. As long as it sounds like I know what I'm talking about, they won't know the difference".

Rittenhouse Square
Overheard by Wayne

Co-Worker Makes A Solid Point

Co-Worker #1: "So I have this recipe for Microwaveable Fried Rice. You might like it. I'll bring it in tomorrow."

Co-Worker #2: "Did you just tell me, an Asian, to make microwave fried rice?! Not to mention, if it's microwaved then it's not FRIED rice. It's microwave rice."

Co-Worker #1: "Well you gave me that chicken recipe the other day, and this recipe looks good so I thought I'd share it."

Co-Worker #2: "Yeah? Well liquid poop looks good too because it reminds me of chocolate, but you don't see me eating it."


My Cube Farm
Overheard by WD40

Only Commies Go To Farmers' Markets

Two 30-something women talking while looking over organic produce selection at farmer's market.

Woman 1 to woman 2, responding to whether her boyfriend/ finance/ husband was going to be joining them later. "No, he's gone to Detroit for 2 weeks. He went to a lefty anarchist organizing conference."

Clark Park Farmer's Market - (really a fundraising scheme for Lefty Anarchist Conferences?)
Overheard by Andrew on the Bus (not on the bus this time)

Can You Buy Them At Whole Foods?

At a fancy party, one dressed-up girl is offering her favorite dish to another: "Here, try this orgasm with cheese."


Fairmount
Overheard by Almatinka

Another Failure Of Our Educational System

College bro to Russian poly-sci student: "No, there's fifty-one states. I'm pretty sure there's fifty-one. But Puerto Rico isn't a state--it's one of our territories, like Guam or the Dominican Republic. But you'd know that if you studied our history."


around 4th and the boardwalk, Ocean City NJ
Overheard by Tlachtga

Seems You've Had Enough Already

At the Phillies vs. Reds game.

Guy (at the concession stand): "I want ice-cream! No, I want beer! I want both! Can I have a beer-shake?"


Baseball stadium
Overheard by Almatinka

Maybe God Is Trying To GET YOU!

Little girl getting off school bus that was just in an accident to mother: "I am so tired of this, this is the second accident I been in this month."


Roxbourgh
Overheard by Philly Joe Camel

Let's Crowd Source It....Any Suggestions?

Teen boy to his friend: "You're retarded. You're so, you know what? I'd have to invent a word to describe how stupid you are.

14th and the Boardwalk, Ocean City NJ
Overheard by Tlachtga

Cosplay?

Two women meet for lunch. It's a bright, sunny, 92 degree day.

1st woman is extremely fair skinned and carrying a paper parasol.

2nd woman: "Oh, did you think it was going to rain today?"

Aramark Tower lobby, 11th & Market
Overheard by Mad Mike

Munchies To Beer Gut

Guy: "This song was my transition from pot to beer."

Beer Week at Fergie's kareoke
Overheard by Betsyvonawesome

Paging Tea Party...Come To The White Courtesy Phone

30ish hispanic dad to kid: "You know why they have fireworks today? Cuz they sound like the bayonets they used in the Civil War."


Seaside Heights fireworks
Overheard by S.1T

Both Dangerous And Disgusting At A Phillies Game

At the Phillies vs. Reds game.

Phillies girl (in a teasing way): "Let's go Reds!"
Phillies guy: "I think the guy to your right (Reds fan) is going to c*m in his pants any minute now."

Baseball stadium
Overheard by Almatinka

Says Four-Finger-Freddy

Hipster on July 4th, hurrying down to Art Museum fireworks with a friend when he sees fireworks go off nearby: "No, man, those aren't the real fireworks. Those are ghettoworks."


1900 block of Fairmount
Overheard by Kaboom!

One Is More Life Threatening Than The Other

Girl (while checking her freshly shaved legs): "Man, I hate when I miss a spot!"

Car mechanic: "Yeah, me too…."

Car repair place
Overheard by Almatinka

Works Out For Both Of You

Old guy (to a girl young enough to be his daughter): "You have to know how to read personals. For example, if a woman says she wants to be taken to Paris, I won't date her."


Drinkers Tavern
Overheard by Almatinka

One More Time?

Obviously drunk dad to 3-4 year old son: "How many times do I have to tell you to never do that when I am drunk"

Chestnut street bridge during 4th of july fireworks
Overheard by bikemike

Independence Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry

Guy: "You're sure they parked you in?"

Girl: "Yeah! And I know they ain't goin' anywhere. They got kids and one of 'em's in a neck brace."

Walnut Street bridge before July 4th fireworks
Overheard by Boomshakalaka

But She's An Academy Award Winner

Large black girl on cell phone: "Who ME?! fuck you! Precious is like 600 pounds!"

Outside Wendy's 15th & Chestnut
Overheard by Rob

Congrats Son, Now Baby Won't Learn

Son: "I picked this piece of gum up off the [LivingRoom] floor before the baby got to it."

Mom: "I know, I dropped it yesterday."

family house
Overheard by jr

No, No...It's Just Those Shoes Don't Match Your Purse

Dude (seeing a guy in drag): "Uh, ok..."
Guy in drag: "I get that all the time."

West Philly
Overheard by Almatinka

Tell Me You Were Watching For The Scenery And Not The Acting

20 year old during Ghost Whisper marathon: "Why doesn't Jennifer Love Hewitt wear a freakin blue tooth when she is talking to ghost? She looks like she is talking to hereself like those homeless people in New York."

Manyunk
Overheard by Joe Camel

Movie Or Weekend In Northwest PA?

Guy: "Yeah so they just kept stabbing him in the face with the BBQ fork. It was awesome!"

My Cube Farm
WD40