Hell Is Other People

Student 1: "Do you think this is what hell is?"

Student 2: "No, I'd imagine that hell is a lot worse."

Student 1: "You mean you have a final every day?"

Student 2: "That and your skin is on fire."

Student 1: "I'm going to heaven then."


Temple Law
Overheard by Cyril Figgus

Ain't That A Kick In The Head

Woman walking on Cherry Street in China Town: "Ha ha, you got a restraining order against his ass, hehehe."


Chinat Town, Cherry Street
Overheard by Big Daddy

I Just Pray To God They Were Hot

Wishing Well Girl 1: "... I smell the burgers!"

Girl 2: "I smell the grease!"

IPA drinking club
Overheard by @betsyvonawesome

Every Girl's Dream

Some Person: "Wait... are we really getting naked in the Berttucci's parking lot?"


Bryn Mawr
Overheard by Someone who may be fired soon?

Soon Not On Saturdays

Middle-aged guy stares into blue mailbox on corner, turns around to ask: "Do you know if this works?"

Broad & Porter
Overheard by It's a F'king mailbox!

1002 Things To Tell My Unborn Son

John, 44: "Don't never get married, right kids?"

Kids: "right"

www.themansguidetolove.com (looks like Italian Market)
Overheard by Philly Phil

That's Called A Hooker

Guy 1: "I think what you need is some boobs in your face."
Guy 2: "Nah I don't really feel like going to the strip club. Do you think I can get those to go?"


Art Museum
Overheard by likesBoobs

Free Marketing Tips For KY

Sorority chick on cellphone: "So we used some of that lube with the wintergreen stuff in it. He said it made my snatch smell all Christmassy. I told him if he ate more, it'd make his breath smell better"


Exton Square Mall
Overheard by Cranky

Some Fetishes Pay Better Than Others

Gay guy to girl: "Turns out he was a prostitute. But not just any prostitute, a FOOT prostitute."


Midtown Village
Overheard by T-Bone

Jay Z Is A Freemason?!

Blinged out dude to equally blinged out friends: "Chakka Fattah is in Jay Z's secret society, don't you know man?"

49th & Market rooftop
Overheard by S.Espo

Gaandu in Hindi

Indian lady in her 50s speaking in a different language on cell phone: "blah blah blah blah ASSHOLE blah blah blah"


Shop N Bag parking lot
Overheard by S.1T

Yet Another Reason For Health Insurance Reform

One of the mouth-breathers I work with: "that's just how I was raised, we did spring cleaning every spring and fall."

Blue Cross cube farm
Overheard by Chaz - wondering how many season there are

Now It's A PARTY!

young man immediately after vomiting profusely at party: "I'm good, all good, no problems here."

skeptical party-goer to man: "I guess....."

party, north philadelphia
Overheard by madira

Rumor Is That The Catskills Swallow

Girl: "Let's go to New York this weekend"

Guy: "Screw New York. New York can suck my balls"

Girl: "Why don't you like New York?"

Guy: "All of New York is so full of themselves. All New Yorkers are obsessed with New York. 'Oh New York City, oh the Yankees Yankees Yankees. I'm from Long Island so I'm so awesome.' ugh.
New York is like the Paris Hilton of states."


Lucky Strike
Overheard by S.1T

I Sure I Hope Temple's Admissions Doesn't Read OHiP

Two students at Temple:

1: "I am going to be a TA in writing next semester, so I better do pretty good so I can go in with confidence"
2: "Don't you mean pretty well Mr. Writing TA?"


Temple

Overheard by MagnusUnda

Monday, Monday So Good To Me

Three girls talking about cute, vegan, hippy guy: "I need deodorant wearing, meat eating men in my life."

Nodding Head
Overheard by betsyvonawesome

I've Heard That About Narberth

Suburban guy to his great dane during a dinner party: "Hey! Eat your ass in the other room!"

Ass Eating Narberth
Overheard by Chaz

Either Way, Let's Kick Her Ass

Table mates addressing girl who interrupted their conversation: "She's either drunk or autistic"

Nodding Head
Overheard by betsyvonawesome

Frat Guy, Sorority Chick, and Nerd Speak Finally Explained

Drunken idiot friend: "That was the Rosetta Stone of Mickey's bottle caps!"

Good-drinking Narberth
Overheard by Chaz

It's Like Comment Thread LARPing

Bragging Guy: "I speak French good, I speak German good, I speak Spanish good, I speak Iraqi good."

My Wife: "You don't speak English good, you don't even speak it well."

20 bus, leaving Franklin Mills
Overheard by MTSBspidey

A Monocular View Of The World

One of those "Save The Planet" guys: "Hey, do you have a minute to talk about the environment?"

Old black man: "Hell nah, I'm blind outta one eye, motha fucka!"


16th & Chestnut
Overheard by Markle

For All Known Values Of 36

Some brain-dead middle management type: "36 is even less than 45"

Blue Cross cube farm
Overheard by Chaz - wondering how these people got hired in the first place

Exit Light, Enter Night

Pilled-out boyfriend, slowly: "Oh yeah? How you gonna do it?"

Pilled-out girlfriend, even more slowly: "I got a noose in my purse, motherfucker!"


Girard and Front St, 7 am
Overheard by kimchee76

Classy

Man standing on sidewalk, wearing white pants, talking on cell phone: "Yea, I was wearing white pants, so you know I was going to move her head away so she wouldn't throw up on me."

Easter Sunday, 11th and Chestnut
Overheard by betsy von awesome

Japanese Game Show Or Bruce Willis Action Movie?

Co-Worker: "Yeah man it was great. He got out this giant salmon and just started beating the other guy across the face with it. But the other guy wasn't just going to lie there and take it, so he grabbed a pizza cutter and was like, 'It's on bitch!'."

My Office
Overheard by J. Street

Sounds Like Fun...You Hiring?

Female Co-Worker #1: "Is that a cucumber you just pulled out of your desk drawer?"

Female Co-Worker #2: "Yeah, Connie gave it to me yesterday. So watch out. Today is "Beat People With a Cucumber Day", so if you piss me off I'm gonna hit you with my cucumber."

Female Co-Worker #1: "Wait..why did Connie give you a cucumber?"

Female Co-Worker #2: "She had at her desk yesterday and was having some fun with it. Then she got tired of it, so she gave it to me"

A Cube Farm
Overheard by WD40

Porn Movies Should Not Have Dialogue

Two guys walking with one gal...first guy: "she loves me."

second guy: "nah, man, she loves me more."

first guy to gal: "you love me, dont'cha baby?"

second guy: "I've seen her without her hair."

first guy: "man, she loves you.."

at work....
Overheard by Anonymous

And More Hairy

Girl at McGillian's referring to t-shirt salesman. "First he comes in with little balls for a necklace. But I swear, his balls get bigger every year!"

McGillians Bar
Overheard by betsy von awesome