Using Bad Stats, This Website Is The Best Ever!

Young man: "If you use bad physics....I AM the center of the universe."

Comic Shop in Bryn Mawr
Overheard by The Lady Crocheting in a Comic Shop.

Recession Divorce

Girl outside Devil's Alley restrooms: "Who do you think I'm texting? My boyfriend. Not my miserable husband who I hate."

Devil's Alley Center City
Overheard by Giraffeinphilly

The Correct Term Is Merkin

Guy: I emailed the gutter guy and told him he left his pube toupee.

R3 Trenton Train
Overheard by WD40

Black Knight Returns!

Two older women on the 42 bus discussing how good Shutter Island was:

#1: Oh yes, that Leonardo DiCapriado was really good..."
#2: "Well Skerkayze was in it too, right? They made a lot of movies together..."
#1: "Oh yes, Martin Lawrence Scorkezzie."
#2: "Mmhmm good team!"

42 bus, first thing in the morning
Overheard by thickcarmelmilf

Reasons For Not Raiding Your Mom's Closet

Crazy Chicks at a table: "I love the 80s. Hence the Gloria Vanderbilt jeans."

McGillians on St. Pat's Day

Overheard by Betsyvonawesome

Highly Inappropriate During Lent

Happy Hour Gastronomist: "Scrapple is the Jesus of meat!"


the Khyber
Overheard by Shoo-Fly Ry

Except Not At All

Little girl at restaurant: "You look like Madonna but you have all your teeth!"

This was said to a short 19 year old black girl.

Bertucci's
Overheard by Claire

Everything On TV Is True

Lady on her iPhone: "they're illegal you know… sex parties are illegal… cause I saw dateline."

South Street Diner
Steve

In A Good Way

Girl taste testing the 120 min IPA: "Can I try your beer."

Someone Else: "Sure. "

Girl: "Wow, it smells like cats."

Kite and Key
Overheard by betsyvonawesome

That's A Little Too Specific For My Liking

Some Random Person: " it smells like drunk, smelly, dog in here."

Craft Beer Crawl Bus on rainy saturday day
Overheard by betsyvonawesome

So Much Racism In Such A Small Space

Very loud and annoying black guy holding up a bag of black licorice bits and showing them to an equally loud annoying black girl.

Guy: "Damn! They'se got nigger babies. I ain't seen these since back in the day."
Girl: "Shit, you know you my only nigger baby!"


Cracker Barrel
Overheard by Al Sharpton

Yet Another Reason Philly Is Better

Some Random Person: "there's no wawa in new york? what!?!?"

Philly Greyhound Station
Overheard by nco824

Good To Know Not All Women Respect Themselves

20 something guy and girl arguing at the bar-

Girl: "Why are we still friends?"
Guy: "Because I have a big dick and good weed?"
Girl: *pauses* "....Well when you put it that way you make me sound shallow!"


Buddakan
Overheard by Claire

Wars Have Started For Less

Thing 3: "See that girl, she's German, totally German."

Thing 4: "Do you mean unattractive or German?"

Brahaus
Overheard by betsyvonawesome

You Kids Get Off My Lawn

Guy to buddy: "seriously.. when the hell did high school kids get so fucking annoying?"

Buddy: "probably when you turned 30."


The RJD2 show - 1st Unitarian Church
Overheard by S.1T (had a great night overhearing)

I Knew Gaydar Was Bullshit!

Thing 1: "I think he's gay."

Thing 2: "No, he's not. Gay men don't wear cargo pants."

Standard Tap
Overheard by betsyvonawesome

Everybody Run...She's Gonna Blow!

Some Person: "Oh my God! There's Jess! Everytime I see her, I throw up."

Walking Fish Theatre (lobby), Fishtown
Overheard by Lindsay

TimmyG Needs To Chillax....word.

Group of three younger black guys walking east on Walnut who are taking up the entire sidewalk and won't move out of my f--king way so I can pass:

Guy#1: "Let's go to Pandora's. They still open"
[PAUSE]
Guy#2: "You can Pandora deez nuts!"

12th and Walnut
Overheard by timmyG!

(Author's note: They did not move out of my way and I was still stuck behind them for another block)

Suggested title: Just go in the f--king restaurant already so I can walk past you!!!

Does He Know Most Students Can't Vote?

Man wandering around the city hall trolley station, talking to a group of students going home from school:

"My name is Wally Gator and I'm running for mayor! I'm gonna put a chicken in every pot and a Cadillac in every driveway! What did you get on your SAT'S??"

waiting for the 34 trolley
Overheard by Vitals

Pickup Line Fail

Guy: (to girl on crutches and a knee brace) "What happened? Were you too fat for your knees?"

Girl: "I weigh 120 lbs!!"

Guy: "You want your belt to buckle, not the chair!"


The RJD2 show - 1st Unitarian Church
Overheard by S.1T

The Poor You Will Always Have With You, And You Can Help Them Any Time You Want.

Homeless dude on Broad St (caps denotes shouting): "I just got to get me a NEKKID girl... yeah... she can DANCE for me... then we can have SEX all night long..."

(to me) "Lookit that girl. I bet she likes the SEX... and dancing..."


Center City
Overheard by Herding Homeless(far far away!)

It's Not A Damn Car Dealership

gay talking to another gay in a gaggle of gays, "If I was a hermaphrodite, I would want a black vagina."


outside schwoodys
Overheard by white boy/white vagina

Unitarians Are Known For Their Fashion Sense

Guy to his buddy: "Dude, that guy is wearing a turtleneck."

to guy wearing turtleneck (very loudly): "Hey You! 1986 called and they want their turtleneck back!"


The RJD2 show - 1st Unitarian Church
Overheard by S.1

Oh, The Places You'll Go - XXX version

Young, drunk, seemingly straight white guy to two black street-walkers who were clearly trannies to anyone that wasn't drunk: "I-I-I... I would very much like to have an orgy with both of you [hiccup]"


12 and Spruce, the Gayborhood
Overheard by timmyG!

thanks for the title!

Just Say No To Candy

Guy walks up to random girl: "Do you have any interest in buying any candy?"

Girl: "Go... AWAY!"

The RJD2 show - 1st Unitarian Church
Overheard by S.1T

I Don't Get It Either

Temple Student on the (crowded) elevator in Tuttleman: "MEN'S WEAR! WOMEN'S WEAR! UNDERWEAR!"

Temple University
Overheard by Disturbed Student

New DS Game?

Bearded man to lady: "Wrong butt hole! And you just grabbed my ball sack."

Lady: "OK!!"


The Flash, Kennett Square PA
Overheard by S.Espo

She Who Makes Jokes To The TSA

postal clerk to women with several packages: "Anything fragile, hazardous, liquid or perishable?"

woman: "No -- I always send my bombs UPS."

postal clerk: "That means you care!"


Tacony post office
Overheard by Lady Haw Haw

I Predict They Don't Make The Paper Anniversary

Guy: "I swear if Scott shoots up our wedding, I'm not sending him a thank you."


On the R3
Overheard by WD-40

Well...DUH!

coworker wanting to return a christening gift: "I want to return this kids Bible, it's too much like brainwashing."

Overheard by betsyvonawesome

She's A Progressive

Older lady on the phone: "Change is good, that's what I always say, especially if it's positive. Positive change is good."


4th and Lombard
Overheard by septa hater

I'm On A Bus!

A 25-35 y/o mom after sitting at the front of the bus for duration of trip, walks to back of bus to pick up her kid, who's been sitting with 4 other kids between ~6-10 years old at the back of the bus. (note - kids were kids for the whole ride, not doing anything bad, just talking like kids) -

Mom begins yelling at one kid, having said nothing before this point: "You want me to hit you in you fucking face when you asleep? What the fuck the matter with you? Ger your ass up! Get off right here."

Then grabs the one kid she's talking to + the other 4 kids exit the bus as well.

#17 bus - am commute
Andrew on the bus (on the #17)

Age Is Wisdom, Not Intelligence

Woman, on cellphone: "I am so much smarter than you. Remember, I am four months older than you."


Cottman Avenue
Overheard by tedster

It Is All About Budgeting

The chick sitting behind us to 'not her boyfriend': "I know a guy we can get xannies for $2. But i need to save this $10 for the methadone clinic tomorrow."


The El
Overheard by duker & ferkle

I Call Movie Rights!

Homeless man to tourists: "My wife got murdered twice."


15th street El station
Overheard by duker & ferkle