And That's How It Happened Officer

Cab cuts on the inside turn lane of #17 bus as it's about to turn from Market LEFT onto 19th Street - Friday following Snowmagedon #2 and buses are struggling already struggling with traffic + trying not to slide on ice.

Bus driver expressing his opinion to passengers so that passengers 1/2 way to the back could hear, "What the heck is wrong with this cabbie? He not know he's just got a cab? If I be a passenger in that cab, I'd be getting out of there there right about now. Crazy fool."


#17 bus on Friday following Snowmagedon #2

Overheard by Andrew on the bus (on the #17)

Perhaps Not Your Best Plan This Week

Two college-aged dudes talking to one another.

Dude to the other: "At first, I put the condom on. But then I was like, 'fuck it'"


South Street
Overheard by Juliana Corvette

Anne Frank Jokes Still Aren't Funny

A man and woman are laughing hysterically at the end of the el-platform...

Man: "All I need to get is my flashlight, and I'd be all up in there!"
Woman: "Flashlight!- Hahahahahahaha!"
Man: "Yeah, they be thinkin' it was the POLICE all up in there... like "WHO DAT?!" (motions the classic searching-stance, which palm above brow to block sunlight)...

MFL
PleaseDon'tTellMeYou'reSearchingThere.

Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

couple discussing making pies and pre-made vs homemade crusts:

Girl: "..well I make my crust from scratch."

Guy: "Well I make my jizz from my balls!"


in Superfresh
Overheard by S.1T

Stock Up Now

20-something lady on phone: "Yeah, that's the thing about European food. If it's good, it's really good. But if it's bad, it's just... weird."

In line at SuperFresh
Overheard by snowstorm = gin, tonic & limes

A Story For Our Times

One lady to another: "File income tax? You don't register what you don't get!"


8th and Chesnut
Overheard by Shoo-Fly Ry

You Complete Me

Girl: "If I had a dick, I'd be sticking it in everything I see."

(gesturing to bar, table, stool etc)

"How does this feel? And how does this feel? I'd be like 'Come here bitch, I wanna see how your mouth feels.' And if she wouldn't give it to me I'd just shove it in there."


The Boathouse - Conshohocken
Overheard by S.1T

You Sure It Wasn't A Frat Guy?

A man in an jacket with "outreach" across the back holding a clipboard is trying to collect names from three homeless guys on a bench.

Homeless guy #3: "I did a fart! HA HA HA!"


Suburban Station
Overheard by Not sitting there

Truer Words Of Love Have Never Been Said

black man talking to a young black woman walking ahead of him:
"I would never break your heart shortie, I would never break your heart. I would never even look at another bitch! Never look at another bitch!"

Alcott and Colgate
Overheard by observant neighbor

No One Works Anywhere That Long

girl: "do you have any ketchup packets in your desk?"

guy: "yeah"

girl: "eww! how old are these?"

guy: "why?"

girl: "because the ketchup turned black!"


office
Overheard by boy i'm glad i started working here

Sex != Love

Random black guy with shovel: "Love??? I have 11 kids, I've had enough love in my life. I don't need any more love in my life."


Snyder
Overheard by Ohh

Honesty Is The Cornerstone of A Healthy Marriage

Guy: (to his wife) "on this Valentine's Day I want to especially thank you for lowering your standards enough to marry me."

His Wife: "Baby, that has to be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. I love you so much."

Me: "Seriously? Seriously?!"


mall
Overheard by Gen

Name One!

Somebody: "there are so many other things I can do other than getting peed on."

On Race Street, walking home from work
betsyvonawesome

The Natives Come In All Colors

old white woman to Korean teenager.

Woman: "So, Anyong, how long have you lived in the USA?"
Teen: "Well, actually, i was born here... and anyong means hello....."


public library
Overheard by ororo munroe

Mom's Chicken Always Wins Over Bikini Hotties

12 yr old kids on the train

Kid 1: "I wanna go to University of Hawaii."

Kid II: "But where's that?"

Kid 1: "Hawaii."

Kid II: "But where's Hawaii?"



Well,I'm a Philly kid. I wanna go to Temple University. I'll go home every Sunday for my moms' fried chicken. Every Sunday. I'm not missin' that.

Green Line
Overheard by EMB

This Is Good. This Sucks.

Woman 1 yelling from her window to her neighbor, "I know. I don't know that though. I know that dog don't bite, but I don't know he won't bite."

Southwest Center City (or whatever we're calling our neighborhood now)
Overheard by Andrew on the bus (but this time in the hood)

Someone Needs To Buy A Clue

Old homeless lady, shouting to the crowded subway car: "Anybody got a quarter? A dime? Some change? I need a sandwich. Anyone got some change? I need a sandwich. Gotta get a sandwich! Anyone got a quarter?"

[Under her breath, while passing my seat:] "After I smoke the crack no one wants to give me no money...."


On the El
Overheard by crack kills

Boom-Chicka-Wow-Wow

Girl and Guys standing in Reading Terminal looking confused.

Girl: "I am wearing the wrong bra for this experience."

Guy: (WTF face)


Reading Terminal Market
Overheard by Proper bra wearer

In A Wal-Mart.? Shocking!

13-ish girl and her mom talking.

Mom: "Oh, you know your aunt Cathy is from Georgia."

Girl: "Georgia. Is that like in Florida or something?"


WalMart

Overheard by Piper Carlisle

The Only Reason I Have A Kitchen Is 'Cause It Came With The House

Woman to husband: "Are those, like, cooking ingredients?"

Plymouth Meeting Whole Foods
Overheard by damn I was looking for tractor parts

Standards Are High At Temple?

Several blond girls standing in front of a change machine.

Girl #1: (looks at machine, looks at her dollar bill) "But, like, I don't have any change, it says it's a change machine...?"

Girl #2: "...No....just, no" (puts her dollar in the machine, Girl #1 looks bewildered)


Temple subway stop
Overheard by howdidshegetintocollege?

Right Here's Where You Start Paying...In Sweat!

Young guy (20's?) on cell phone: "Ah. Well that's too bad. Today at work I saw a smushed cockroach on my way to the bathroom and 2 things crossed my mind... one was 'Oh, office roadkill', then 'This kinda feels like high school. Except I'm paid to be here' "

Princeton, NJ
Overheard by Currrly

Father Michael Needs To Go Back To The Suburbs

Priest: "I was so frustrated I could've pimp slapped him!"


Comcast Center Food Court
Overheard by WD40

Designated Mother

Small group of obviously drunk girls walking down the street, being herded by one not drunk girl:

Girl #1: "Stop telling us what to do. You're not being nice any more."

Girl #2: "Yeah... I like nice Amanda better."

Amanda (shouts): "I've been nice for 4 fucking hours! I'm out of nice!"


40th & Spruce
Overheard by Currrly

The Troubles Of The World

Two wanna-be-hipsters sitting very close together ---

One hipster to the other, "Oh my god, I really really hate Merlot. I hate all red wine, but I really hate Merlot."


Basement of hipster Last Drop coffee shop
Overheard by Andrew on the bus (but this time in basement of Last Drop coffee shop)

But You Choke A Lot Of Sausage

One dude giving career advice to another dude & complimenting Dude #2's attitude at work: "You don't kiss nobody's ass... you don't lick nobody's poop."


MFL headed to 69th Street Station
Overheard by vismajor

Native American Racism For The Win!

couple next to us at restaurant --

Guy: "So I was driving in this neighborhood this morning that was all Indian names for the streets and..."

Girl: (interrupting) "Were you on Iwannahockaloogie Street?"


Amici's
Overheard by S.1T

Kick 'em To The Curb!

Old black man talking about his kids: "Shiiit, I can't even take care of my damn self.."

Lawrence & Tasker
Overheard by Markle

Postal Workers In Love

postal clerk to woman customer: So, how are ya?

customer: I'm good!

clerk: "You're good?"

customer: "I'm GOOD!"

clerk: "Who says you're good??"

customer, smugly: "We hold these truths to be self-evident."


Tacony post office
Overheard by Good!!

There's A Gun In The Third Act

Homeless vet to woman passing by: "You! You're glowing! You must be in love."

Woman: "As a matter of fact yes. Yes, I am."


13th and pine
Overheard by Only in the movies

Racism or Stereotypes? You Decide...

coworker #1 - "no, no, it's two asian guys making fun of pool tips."

coworker #2- "that's surprising"

coworker #1 - "why is that surprising?"

coworker #2 = "because asians take their sports really seriously... especially ping-pong"


18th and JFK
Overheard by lovethatpingpong