Parenthood Can KILLLLLL YOUUUUU!

Girl: "Did you hear? Bob's going to be a father!"

Guy: "What? Bob??? So now he's knocked someone up and he didn't even get anyone to marry him yet? That man is going to die of an ulcer. I don't think he can take that much stress."


On the R7
Overheard by WD40

I Was A History Professor In My Home Country

Three old cabbies arguing in the loading zone of upscale hotel in Old City.

Cabby#1&#2 pointing angrily & talking with accusatory tones.

Cabby#3 backing away up against his car: "It's like I'm Serbia and you're Archduke Ferdinand...you better watch out or I'm gonna start something!"


Omni Hotel - Old City - 3rd & Chestnut
Overheard by Historically Hysterical

Happy Thanksgiving?

Old guy at Shonen Knife concert: "All women are crazy. Men just have to figure out what capacity of craziness they can handle. They have to find someone who matches their craziness...... Because all men are crazy."


Johnny Brenda's
Overheard by Orli

Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = Crazy Delicious.

Woman: "That fish don't look red."

Guy: "No, but it sure tastes red."


Cube Farm Cafeteria
Overheard by WD40

And This Post Will Be Used As Evidence

Woman: "I know. And one day she's going to freak out so bad she's going to have a heart attack. And you're going to walk in and find her. And everyone's going to be like, 'Oh, she killed her.'"

CVS in Horsham
Overheard by WD40

I Am So Turned On Right Now

Couple at grocery store (reeking of weed):

Girl: "Man, pumpkin pie is so good!"
Guy: "You know what other kind of pie is good? Boner pie."

FreshGrocer, West Philly
Overheard by I don't think Grandma will be serving that one this year

Interfaith Relationships Are Difficult At The Holidays

Some girl looking at the Christmas bells: "Oh this is so adorable! I am going to get it, despite the fact that my boyfriend worships the devil."


Christmas Tree Shoppes Cherry Hill, NJ
Overheard by Becky...dying laughing...trying so hard for her not to hear it!

He's Practicing Pickup Lines

Woman asking a question to a very gay Wawa worker.

Woman: "Do you have footlongs here?"

Gay Man: "Oh Honey, I sure do! Oh wait, you mean Hoagies right?"


Wawa, Essington
Overheard by I'm eating at Subway

I Don't Think That's In The Health Care Reform Bill

Guy on cell phone sitting behind me on the 13 trolley: "Hi can i speak to Brandy in the Fees assessment department?

(30 secs of waiting on hold)

"Hi, Brandy? I spoke to you earlier about wondering if i can get reimbursed because I hooked up with a prostitute before I got to the VA"

13 Trolley at 45th and Chester Ave
Overheard by Shocked Trolley Passenger

He's An Ass Man

Two very overweight women discussing their health problems loudly at a bus stop:

Woman #1: "When my ass flares up, I can barely even sit or walk around."

Woman #2: "Yeah, when mine flares up I have to see my doctor for relief. And then it's like he doesn't even want to deal with it!"

Woman #1: "Girl, you better see my doctor then. He doesn't mind."

Philadelphia Community College
Overheard by That's why I'm a lawyer

Caution Is Always Good When It Comes To Lights

Vet 1: "...yeah well you know the white light? The proverbial white light well.."

Vet 2: "Yeah yeah I know I'm just looking for the yellow light"


32nd and Baring
Overheard by rainbow bright

We Must Apply The Scientific Method To This Hypothesis

Guy: "Can I tell you something personal?"
Girl: "Is it something I want to know?"
Guy: "Probably not."
Girl: "Tell me anyway."
Guy: "Are you sure?"
Girl: "Yes! Now you have to tell me!"
Guy: "I found out today that when I shave my ass my farts get smellier and more amplified."
Girl: "...I'm really glad you told me that."


Bertucci's
Overheard by At least he wasn't telling her he has an std?

Stay Alert, Stay Alive

Terrorist 1: "Im going to bomb this place"
Concerned citizen: "O snaps"


5th wolf,Philadelphia
Overheard by Iantherad

More Cow Bell?

Some Girl: "Christopher Walken is one mother-fucking Sicilian mafioso."

North Star
Overheard by mmpie

You Have A VERY Strange Sex Life

Drexel Med Student Chick: "He wears crocs!?! That's not what you wear to be professional. That's what you wear behind closed doors!"

Twitter
Overheard by planetxerox

They Live In An Analog World

Two jocks walking into Anderson Hall:

The one says to the other "Dude, do you know what time it is? ...I feel like we're late."

they continue walking forward, directly in front of a digital clock

other jock says, "nah man..."

Anderson Hall, Temple University
Overheard by Observant Homo

Is This Racist Or Just Odd?

black couple shopping & from what i can tell, the woman is helping the man find a new winter jacket.

man: "shit, i don't know what to get"
woman: "look at this bomber jacket"
man: "obama jacket?!??!"
woman: "obama! hayyyy"


H&M
Overheard by no more dblchc muffins

To Thyself Be True

Woman on a cell phone at 34th and Walnut: "Come with us. We're going to go down to fashion week and throw cookies at skinny girls. Well, and eat cookies."


Bus stop at 34th and Walnut
Overheard by phillyear

Tasty

seemingly homeless woman screams to no one in particular: "Hot sauce, cat sauce! Hot sauce, cat sauce!"


Outside Reading Terminal
Overheard by TryingToGetFood

Man Of Few Words

Guy in line waiting for the R5 train: "You were on the train that was on fire yesterday? What was the fire like?"

Guy in a suit waiting to get home: "Hot."

In the R5 line in Suburban Station

Overheard by Chaz

Hold On A Second Buddy! This Isn't My Space!

A drunk guy standing up in a bar said, loudly, "I wanted to friend her on facebook, but I haven't met her yet."


Las Vegas Lounge
Overheard by Hey Stranger

I'm A MAN!

Man and Woman.
Man is trying to get back into the house.

Man "Let me in. I din' do nuffin!"
Woman "Yer a crumb!"
Man "I'm not a crumb!"
Woman (indignantly) "Oh yes you are!"


Near 7th and Tasker
Overheard by Crumb Bum

You Stay Out Of My Bedroom, I'll Stay Out Of Yours

Israeli guy: "Wait! You take the brussel sprouts... and what do you do with them?

On the 27.

Overheard by Ben Dover

Soon To Be Sex Columnist At Philly Inq

bearded homeless man on street in Chinatown to me and a group of friends

Homeless Willy: "My wife, she done put that hot tobasco sauce on my nipples and she lick dat shit off. She said it taste like nipple-titty."

Chinatown
Overheard by Willyfan

I Love How He Spells Out 7-11

College aged guy: "Yeah, can I get a Hot Pocket."

Cashier: "Which one?"

Guy: "The one that says Hot Pockets Carne y Caso is that the same one as the Philly Cheese Steak?"

Cashier: "Yes"

Guy: "Which one is it, Carne y Caso or Philly Cheese Steak?"

Cashier: "Both"


Seven Eleven on City Line
Overheard by Why am I surrounded by idiots

Blame SEPTA

What you mean they cancel school if SEPTA strikes? They give those kids off for everything. That’s why they so stupid." ...Really?!

Twitter
Overheard by Molly

It's Going To Take A Lot Longer Now

Septa driver: "Were probably going to strike soon."

Bus rider: "Thank god I took a week off."

Bus rider 2: "I just got a new Job , It takes 2 hours on the bus to get here."


Center City
Overheard by Bobby reds

Makes University of Phoenix Look Like A Bargain

College guy 1: "So are Holland and the Netherlands the same?"

College girl: "Yes, they used to be separate but now they're the same." (Wrong answer btw.)

College guy 1: "Well what's Belgium, then?"

College guy 2: "Belgium's ... Belgium."

College guy 1: "I guess I should know this stuff."

College girl: "It's OK, you know other stuff."

(a few minutes pass, then:)

College guy 2: "Where are you going for grad school?"

College guy 1: "I'm pretty sure Harvard."


Temple U, before talk by controversial Dutch politician Geert Wilder


Overheard by he could've gone anywhere

If Management Gets Its Way....

"If I owned SEPTA, there'd be rims on the wheels, music pumped in, and a crackhouse in the back of the bus..."


the 34 trolley
Overheard by Shoo-Fly Ry

Couldn't Have Waited A Couple Days?

Starbucks employee to customer with eye patch: "ARRR!!! Ye be dressed a pirate for Halloween!"

Eye Patch Guy: "Actually I just had cataract surgery."

Starbucks (attempting to remove foot from mouth): "gosh, Halloween must be a great time to have cataract surgery because nobody thinks it's funny that you've got an eye patch on."

Eye Patch: "There is no good time for cataract surgery. Give me my coffee."

Center City
Overheard by MagnusUnda

It Is A Tale Told By An Idiot, Full Of Sound And Fury, Signifying Nothing.

@17 y/o girl at info desk: "I need a copy of Macbeth...in English."


Barnes & Noble
Overheard by BN guy

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OHiP