Halloween: One Of The Most Decentralized Holidays

A man and a woman talking about their kids and halloween.

Woman: "Yeah, I can't wait to walk the kids around this year! It's going to be so fun, I hope it doesn't rain though."

Man: "Well.. if it rains then we can't go out because no one will answer their door. Halloween gets like, cancelled when something like rain happens."

Woman: "Uhm... they do have things called umbrellas."

On the 9
Overheard by MaryJane

Education Also Occurs Outside The Classroom

Teacher : "so what should we do about about junior prom."

Student: "Yo fuck junior prom, lets just go to broad st at 11:00 pm and just shoot people"

Me: "11 pm's a little early"

student: "yaaaaa. Then lets make it 1 am"

teacher: "anyone whos on broad st at 1 am won't be missed."

me:.......

Philly HS
Overheard by Student of the year.

Progressives' Foreplay

A man and woman holding hands spin together giggling and laughing down the sidewalk..

Man mid spin: "Let's talk about Obama"

25th and Spruce
Overheard by the fuck?!

I Always Take It As A Compliment

I'm guessing a heterosexual dude leaving Westbury Bar on Spruce St. wearing a look of concern and speaking to himself:

"Note to self, Westbury is Gay"

spruce st. 13th
Overheard by killer

Sleep Over...So We Can Make Fun Of You

Group o' Tourists...
Tourist 1: "This is Philadelphia! We're on Sansom so that way is Chestnut."
Tourist 2: "But wait, isn't there another 'nut'?"
Tourist 3: "Yeah, there's another 'nut'.
Tourist 4: "What's that other 'nut'?"
All: "Hmmm......WALNUT!!!"

Oh! Shea's on Sansom St at 19th
Overheard by timmyG!

He Marched So You Could CHOOSE Where To Sit

Black teenager getting on bus to her friend: "I'm tired of sitting in the back. Martin Luther King marched so we could ride up front!"

9th & Market
Overheard by We Shall Overcome

When Art History Majors Argue

Girl: "My mom has a photographic memory."
Guy: "She does not!"
Girl: "She does!"
Guy: "She doesn't even have an impressionist memory. She's got a cubist memory."

R7
Overheard by KJM

F'ing Yankees Fan

Random person outside after Phillies clinch NLCS: "Fly, Phillies Fly..."

Ridge Ave
Overheard by DeltaV

Teenage Fathers Are Known For Their Monogamous Ways

Teen-mother-to-be screaming on cellphone: "I'M NOT THE ONE WHO WAS FUCKING SOME OTHER GIRL AT THE COLD STONE CREAMERY WHILE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MY PREGNANCY MILKSHAKE!"


Fishtown CVS
Overheard by Yo Teach

The Reason I Don't Mind Schuylkill Traffic

Crazy lady preaching to everyone unfortunate enough to have forgotten their ipod that day: "Y'all betta watch yo-selfs! Cause when you not lookin' yo daughter's fuckin in the bathroom! That's right! But you know what? The mo' kids you end up with the betta yo life gonna be. Y'all have a bad day now."


Subway, northbound b/w City Hall & Girard
Overheard by Rolls Royce

Fuckin' A

30 something woman with three young children, "I'm teaching my son etiquette. I know he's only six and shit, but he holds a door open for a lady."


On the El
Overheard by She's a Lady

This Person Should Run For Congress

"firs' i asks myself 'what would jesus do' and then i asks 'what would i do' and then i jus' think of something in the middle because i ain't perfect"


drexel dragonland
Overheard by dbl choc muffs FTW

I Expect Truth In Advertising

Girl: "So, what was Man On Fire about anyway?"

Guy: "I don't know. But there wasn't no guy on fire, that's for sure."

Waiting for the 25 under the Spring Garden El station
Overheard by MTSBspidey

A Fine Example of Right Place, Right Time

Father and two children walking down the street. Children are carrying large bundles of sticks. One child is holding his eye and crying.

Father: "What? Did you you stab yourself with something?"


Near UPenn Hospital
Overheard by MTSBspidey

A New Hallmark Card

Man on cellphone: "But it only took me 2 months to put it in your butt!"


45th and Walnut
Overheard by I don't know if that is too long or not long enough

Swatch == Handjob, Timex == BJ, Rolex == Full Service

Tranny hooker to her client, outside of my bedroom window: "It's okay if you don't got any moooooney, I can take your watch and your jeeeeeeeeewelry."


The Gayberhood
Overheard by JM

Cheese Whiz!

Old creepster to another old creepster, probably not talking about sauce and cheese: "He put it on her fuckin' tits, but he could have just done it on her stomach."

pizza place - Rittenhouse
Overheard by El Duderino

Who's My Baby Daddy?

Watching the Phillies Game 1 on tv. A Michelin man tire commercial comes on.

Girl: "Hey there he is! Where's he been? He looks like he lost some weight."


at the house
Overheard by S.1T

Fuckin' Metal!

Conversation had between a couple behind me...

Band Bro: "I try to take you out all the time!"

Crackhead Ho: "You never take me anywhere!"

BB: "I tried to take you to our concert, but you all just got high!"

CH: "That's not even [f-in] fair! We were high before we even got there! REALLY high!"

BB: "So get high and come to the concert with me tonight!"

CH: "I don't like you and I HATE Slayer!"


South on 17th Street at Sansom
Overheard by timmyG!

Time To Buy A New Car

A lady in the porta-potty: "Shit I dropped my keys in the porta-potty!"


Arasapha Farms Haunted Hayride and Bates Motel
Overheard by A.Shegda

With Cialis You Can...When The Time Is Right

Guy 1: (mid conversation)"...and I told her that I can't come on Tuesdays or Sundays."

Random Guy walking past: "Sounds like a personal problem."


The Trocadero
Overheard by S.1T

The All Purpose Get-Out-Of-Dinner-Dates Answer

Hip lady wearing Uggs, yapping on the cell phone so everybody can hear: "No that's right I couldn't go to y'alls party. No, I was out cause I went and got an abortion..."

Route 66 bus
Overheard by MayfairMeat

I Ain't Listening To No Big City Lawyer

Guy 1: "She's going for an insanity defense."

Guy 2: "She sold the heroin to her son?"

Guy 1: "Yeah."

Guy 2: "The same heroin he overdosed on?"

Guy 1: "Yeah."

Guy 2: "Whats the deal?"

Guy 1: "5 years Consecutive"

Guy 2: "Take the deal."


Ymca locker room West Chester
Overheard by morosejew

Reverse Oediphal Issues?

random ghetto guy walking past my window with group of friends: "you wanna hear something funny? Raheem fucked me in the ass last night. and i liked it! my daddy fucked me in the ass."

15th and Pine
Overheard by mac

I Just Want To Know Which Train Goes To Trenton

Girl to friend: "I really have no desire to ever go to California. I imagine they are ten times worse than New York. It's like if people from Jersey got a whole lot of money."

48th kingsessing
Overheard by philly girl

Step 1: Inform. Step 2: Diagnosis. Step 3: Profit?

Older, bigger black woman on her cell: "Did you tell him you have it?... Well, if it's itchy go to the clinic!...No, ya dumb bitch, it's free...it's FREE!"


13th and Chestnut
Overheard by timmyG!

Charity Is Taco Bell On The Sidewalk

Middle-aged woman carrying a takeout bag suddenly stops, looks around, then drops the bag on the sidewalk and keeps walking.

Me: "What the fuck, lady?"

Woman: (startled) "Uh, it's so someone else can have it!"

My friend: "You're littering when there's a trash can ten more feet down the block?!"

Woman: "It's not littering if someone finds it and eats it!"

21st and Walnut
Overheard by Charity Means The Homeless Can Eat My Garbage IF They Can Find It

Perhaps That Was Enough

Guy: And I was like 'FUCK YOU EDWARDO!' but that was it.

Temple
Overheard by glad to be in Philly

Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc

Female student to friend: "yeah, like, sometimes I get so stressed that people call me 'stressica' because my name is jessica and I'm stressed."


Cosi on Penn's campus
Overheard by jeff

He's Still In Our Room...Under The Bed

Two girls outside of student center: "Whatever happened to that guy that came up and had sex with you?"

East Falls
Overheard by RayKwon

Then You've Come To The Right Place

Young Boy: "Eat, eat, eat!!"

Mother: "What?! No- stop eating. And you, stop encouraging her! Please just stop eating!"

Young Girl: "But why?"

Mother: "If you keep eating like this, you'll get fat. And you don't want that."

Young Girl: "Yes I do. I wanna be fat. Super duper fat!"

Young Boy: "See? Eat, eat, eat!!"


Willow Grove Park Mall
Overheard by WD40

Someone Is A Bit Confused

Crazy old homeless lady with cart, rapping: "Suck my cock, fuck them bitches"


Chinatown
Overheard by Bennett and the Jets

Concern For Your Fellow Man Is Funny

several minutes of one meathead shouting "MIKE!!" and running though the house

Upon finding Mike, who seemingly spent the night passed out on the porch.

meathead #1-" Mike! Mike! are you dead Mike?!?! Are you dead?!? What are you doing out here?!"


48th kingsessing
Overheard by next door

Creepy....

Our lab group was playing with some cornstarch and water mix.

This crazy girl put some on her hand and started stared at it for a few seconds. Then, she said: "It's like I'm 14 again."


Two-Day Materials Science Class, Drexel University
Overheard by engineering freshman

Then Emeril Said, "BAM!"

Old creeper sitting on stoop to girl walking dog: "Hey girl do you have a butcher knife? You gotta cut a hot dog with a butcher knife."


32nd and Baring
Overheard by Knife to meet you

All I Said Was You Can Keep The Cannoli

Woman with screeching NY accent, from across the dining room: "And he's only the SPERM FATHER!"

Le Bec Fin
Overheard by amused