Either Way, Wear Clean Underwear!

Nelly gay 20something: "I'm like 'Mom, its not drugs; its protein powder!'"

Starbucks - Latimer and 15th
Overheard by Spinozist

This Is My Rifle. This Is My Gun.

officer talking to other officers: "I tell people if they want to feel safe from crime to get a shotgun."

13th and filbert near the criminal justice building
Overheard by k3v0

I Always Fear These Overheards Are Prophecy

A young mother talkin 2 her pre-teen daughter "No Bob Dylan isn't dead, he just looks like he is".

leavin my building in wynnfield
Overheard by Folk Zombie

New HBO Series: Tru Redneck

"when i get married again, i'm rippin' off the sleeves, wearin' a baseball cap and flip flops. if she don't like it, she's not the one."

headhouse market 2nd & lombard
Overheard by telan

You'll Watch Sponge Bob And LIKE IT!

small boy to mother: "I don't want to go! I want more HISTORY!!!"

Independence Hall
Overheard by MoJunk

Conversation With Your Children Is Overrated.

Aging yuppie father to 7 year-old son: "Don't speak to me, son."

Outside the Cosi on Penn's Campus
Overheard by jbs

Huggy Bear In His Later Years

3 couples are sitting around a picnic table, 2 couples with kids, guy without kid is playing with two of the kids' dinosaurs, fighting

Guy: "Bitch where's my money? I kick that baby right out yo belly! Where my money bitch?"

Nesh State Park
Overheard by KJM

BINGO!

Buffalo Exchange guy: "I need your ID and your phone number."

Obvious homeless guy trying to trade clothes for cash, handing over ID: "2-1-5.. 7-6-8... 3-4... uhh B-9."

Buffalo Exchange guy: "Umm excuse me sir, you cannot have LETTERS in your phone number?!"

Buffalo Exchange, Chestnut St
Overheard by monkeymoo

But, like, It's Ok 'cause I Like Tofurkey Anyway

Girl walking by, on her cell phone: "And then the girl in line behind me? She was, like, chewin' on her gum like it was some sort of limited edition, Thanksgiving dinner kinda flavor..."

30th Street Station
Overheard by Desperate Hours

Insecurity Raises Its Ugly Head

Guy: "The woman in the cubicle over the wall from me has a great laugh."

Girl (angrily): "What's wrong with my laugh??"

Guy: "Not in a "cute girl, I'd like to meet her" kinda way, more like a "sorta sounds like boss Hogg" kinda way."


R7
Overheard by KJM

But I Repeat Myself

Female Employee: "I am surrounded by idiots and crackheads."


Walmart, Columbus Boulevard
Overheard by Mr. D

He Liked To Shop And Watch Project Runway....

40 something black woman: "I thought I was happy with Roy. Girl, I was even happy with that one boy...till I found out he was a faggot!"

R8 West
Overheard by GiraffeinPhilly

That's Generally How It Works

student talking about environmental issues: "i know a guy that got hepatitis from a dirty clam"


moore college of art
Overheard by works on so many levels

Someone Once Told Me

Mother to young son: "If you wiped your butt, we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

Fishtown
Overheard by Kimchee

Mega-Douche Tries To Charm The Ladies

Underage White Girl to Friends: "I dunno, so I was like, 'I don't want to talk to you anymore!' and then..."

20- Something Latino Guy Passing By: "Why don't you want to talk to me anymore? Can't you see I'm trying to holla' at you 'cause your so goddamned sexy?"

North Philly
Overheard by I Can't Believe I'm Friends With This Guy

You Hate People! But I Love Gatherings. Isn't It Ironic?

Girl: "C and J would get along like peas in a pod."

Guy: "I thought C was a flaming racist? And J is black."

Girl: "Well other than that."

(Names redacted to protect the guilty.)


R7
Overheard by KJM

Momma Said To Hold Onto What You Love

Two guys walking down street, one with his hands down his pants

Guy 1: "...nah I ain't scared to die but I ain't ready to die."

Hands-down-his-pants: "I'm ready to die."


13th and locust
Overheard by hands-on-my-head

Sounds Like A Fun Fetish

Cop on cell lighting cigarette: "Fellatio?!"

Front and Orange St., Media
Overheard by ReRo

Slippery Slope To Robots Eating Grandpa

Two older women were holding a conversation about another couple.

Woman 1: "They have been married since 1961."

Woman 2: "That is really wonderful."

Woman 1: "Yeah, but there is no romance left. They are getting one of those ipod cellphones."

8th & Market
Overheard by Arylyn

First Time She Did It In A Bed

Girl #1: "This is huge, his is huge..."
Girl #2: "This whole city is huge!"
Girl #1: "I know!"

Drexel
Overheard by Glad to be a male Philadelphian...

Cleanup on Aisle 7?

Guy on his mobile phone, seemingly discussing an upcoming opportunity: "I don't know. We gotta take the urines and shit"


Corner of 7th and Market
Overheard by Andrew on the bus (coming off the bus)

Our Accessories Define Us

Coworkers talking about the hermaphrodite runner...

First girl: "Wait, doesn't she have boobs?"

Guy: "She's got male sex organs on the inside."

First girl: "Does she have a va-jay-jay?"

Second girl: "Nuh-uh...if she's walkin' around with a pocketbook......."

At work
Overheard by tedster

uh ok....wait, WHAT?

a girl (with a look of disgust on face)to a guy: "you're still holding your spoon like a gay neanderthal."

outside B2 in s.philly
Overheard by george

The Customer Is Always Right

Old guy at McDonalds: "...and a Whopper Jr."

Walking out of McDonalds
Overheard by duker

Early Signs Of A Breast Man (or Woman)

Mother (to toddler): "Stop licking me!"


Market-Frankford El at 60th Street
Overheard by soupnyc807

Please Do The Second Thing First

Guy loud and proud to group of guys: "I'm really just taking life as it comes ya know? I mean, if I knock a bitch up--whatever. If I get hit by a car--whatever."

33rd and Hamilton
Overheard by Things happen

New Business: Tours Of Philly Asses

guy #1: "now that is a classy ass."
guy #2: "yea... her ass is classy. have you ever walked on walnut street?"
guy #1: "now that's where the really classy ass is."

outside of liberty place
Overheard by Anonymous

Narcissistic Much?

Almost 30-year old curvy girl: "Who the fuck knew that Needles Jones was my internal monologue?"

Walking out of National Mechanics, Old City. (Needles Jones was performing inside.)
Overheard by The Mighty Xtingu

Some People Just Don't Listen

Elderly Man: "Sure but make it quick. It's hot and I'm on a payphone at the corner. (silence) What's that? You want my number? (silence) It's 215... (silence) Well of course it's the number for the payphone. What did you expect?"

Center City
Overheard by WD40

Surprisingly Villanova Doesn't Own The Subway....Yet.

One young Abercrombie to another young Hollister: "You mean we actually have to pay for this?"
(After trying to swipe their 'Nova IDs through the SEPTA pass reader)

Stadium, Rt 100
Overheard by welcome to the real world

It's From All The Masturbating

Older Woman: "Excuse me, miss but you're going to have to speak up. I've got Carpel Tunnel, so I don't hear so good."

Willow Grove Wal-Mart
Overheard by Pretzel Dude

Abstinence Only Education In The Wild

Guy: "Have you been tested for scoliosis?"

Girl: "No. Not since I was in grade school. Why?"

Guy: "You mean you haven't been re-tested now that you're sexually active?!"

Girl: "Ummm no. I thought scoliosis was a back disease. What does it have to do with being sexually active?"

Guy: "Everything!"

Franklin Mills Mall
Overheard by Ms. Potatohead

Sex Don't End At 30

2 Old Guys (70s)

1st OLD GUY: "shit. i beat it out the park.. i don't even have to call her. she's gonna call me."

2nd OLD Guy: "Yeah I bet that pussy was good."

1st Old Guy: "I told you man see i was running her down but now that i put i on her shes gonna be running me down."

Me:(in my head) "you r too damn old for this conversation."

on the corner of market and 40th.
Overheard by ashleestyley

That's Ok Honey. I'll Do All The Work.

One middle-aged chick to another - "I should have had sex with him to get it over with, but I couldn't stand up."

Starbucks
Overheard by Sweet Nothings

Thanks For The Health Tip

Loud, brash, and profane girl waiting for a bus, "For real?! So Fuck, I got Herpes and you know that shit never go away".

On the Boulie
Overheard by Health Class Participant

Chaz Meets All The Best People

Foul-smelling guy: "maybe I squished a dingleberry or something"

philly sport & social hockey tournament
Overheard by Chaz

Know Thyself

Large sweaty gentleman: "she's lived with me for ten years now, her standards are nice and low."

at the Philly Sport & Social hockey tournament
Overheard by Chaz

N.H.O.s Also Attract Attention

Feminist Scene Girl: "Could you please stop looking at my breasts?"

Normal Guy: "Okay listen, if you are going to wear a bright green t-shirt with baby in a tank shooting flying coke bottles out of the air, you can't yell at people when they stare at your chest."

Suburban Station
Overheard by The Commuter

Sounds Like A Great Friday Night

just two regular dudes..."pick your least favorite body part and stick in in there".


12th and spring garden elevator
Overheard by babe wit da bike.

The Classics

Guy 1: (pointing to tshirt) "Sub Pop whats that?"

Guy 2: "Sub Pop? You know.. the record label.."

Guy 1: "Oh, I dont know that kinda shit. I know like Capital, Atlantic, and Deathrow."

the Bank
Overheard by an amused S.1T

Here's A Hint. She Wants The $ For Crack.

Female Crackhead trying to sell a misappropriated bicycle at 6:30 a.m.: "Five dolla for the bike, mister. I got's ta get home!"

Me: "Here's an amazingly novel idea: how about riding the fucking bike home?"


In front of the Market East Station 9th Street entrance
Overheard by JustDoIt

Bill's Working Nights

cabbie's switchboard operator: "you guys can't pull one over on old slick willy...."

in a cab, south philly
Overheard by vaginica

I See Some Good Makeup Sex Coming

Large black woman: "I told him, yeah, you gonna need a lawyer when I get done cuttin your ass up! You can look at my record and see I ain't afraid of doin jail time!"


Eastbound MFL
Overheard by kd

Male Hummingbirds Are Called Woodpeckers

2 women on the subway: "...and he seen one o' them... whatchucallits... whatchucall a female racoon?" "A 'possum?" "Yeah!"

Riding the El west around 52nd Street
Overheard by MoJunk