Insert Sodomy Joke Here

Son: "Yo, Mom, can I get these? They're basketball shorts!"

Mom: "Boy, You don't need basketball shorts in prison, you're just gonna put on that orange suit!"

Son: "But what about after I shower?"

Mom: "It's PRISON.  Put them back."

JCPenney Outlet, Franklin Mills
Overheard by BestThingIHeardAllDay

Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Shit?

5 year old boy: "Mommy I have to poop."

Mom: "the bathroom's right there sweety."

Boy after pausing for 5 seconds: "Mommy, knock knock""

Mom: "who's there?"

Boy: "Billy*"

Mom: "Billy who?"

Boy: "Billy has to poop."

In line at pizza parlor
Overheard by -S.1T-

That's What I Always Say On My Bra-less Days!

Guy (who was saving the crispy ends of his soft pretzel for last): "Will someone hold my most tasty parts while I check my cell phone?"  

Elfreth's Alley 
Overheard by holder
Congrats LadyT!

Honorable Mentions:  
Oh, you meant the PRETZEL! Sorry! - Tweedledee  
Can I hold the phone instead? - B N  
Only if you turn your head and cough - heyitskeiser 
 ...for $100 I can. Wait are you a cop? - -S.1T-

A New Generation Of Fresh Prince Starts Sampling

little black boy, no more than 8 yrs old, standing in front of the Polar Bear tank, to the polar bear who just swam by: "Welcome to the West side!!"

The Philadelphia Zoo, the glass wall underneath the polar bear exhibit
Overheard by In West Philadelphia, born and raised...

Why Does It Matter Since Your Head Is Obviously Far Up Your Ass?

Cordial Restaurant Host on phone: "I do have a table available, but it's in our downstairs lounge. Will that be a problem?"

[pause]

"Well ma'am it wouldn't make any sense to sit you in a restaurant without any light."

Xochitl Restaurant
Overheard by Jakarta Worker

It's The New American Dream

Small Hispanic Child to mother:

Child: "Mommy, do you work here?"
Mom: "No, I work at the hospital, remember?"
Child: "When I grow up I'm gonna work with black people!!!!"

Commerce bank Broad and Locust
Overheard by Jay

Thanks Folks! I'll Be Here All Week! Try The Veal!

Train operator on the El going eastbound over the intercom: "Do NOT hold my doors. If you want to hold doors, get a job at a hotel."

 Between 15th and 13th
Overheard by teamcinnamon

Your Title Here #5

Guy (who was saving the crispy ends of his soft pretzel for last): "Will someone hold my most tasty parts while I check my cell phone?"

Elfreth's Alley
Overheard by holder

Your Title:
Your Name (pseudonyms are OK):

create form

But In A Good Way

"I'm not trying to get in bed with him, but I will take something and shove it up his ass if you know what I mean."

outside 30th street station
Overheard by What did you mean?

Welcome To Philly, Brat.

Exasperated 6yr old" "There's only one word for it! That word is MEAN!"

3rd and Locust
Overheard by On my way to work

They Say Students Lose Two Months Of Learning During The Summer

Dude #1: "Like my grammar is terrible... I can't even spell small words like 'ceiling'..."

Dude #2: "Really?- Spell 'ceiling'."

Dude#1: "S...E... wait are you seriously asking me how to spell it?"

Dude #2: "Yeah dude... spell it"

Short Pause...

Dude #1: "S...E...E...L-I-N-G, seeling, am I right?"

Dude#2: "There's no f_ck@#! S in 'ceiling' dude..."

Dude#1: "Well there's an S in silly!-Hahahahahahaha"

Dude#2: :Hahahahahahaha"

Wyndmoor Train Station, Chestnut Hill
Overheard by Wow.

Self Loathing Is Funny

Slightly intoxicated Black male to drunk Asian female: "Man, I could be one of them extras! I look all chinky-eyed don't I?"
Asian female: "Say that word again and you get no pussy tonight."

(a few moments later)

Female: "But I'd let Tyrese fuck me back to China!"
Male: "Bitch, Tyrese don't got nuffin' on my black ass!"

Fahy Bridge (Bethlehem), overlooking Transformers 2 set at the Steel
Overheard by why i'm glad i'm moving back to philly.

I Like A Man Who Knows What He Wants

guy behind me: "He needs to find a dirty vagina because he is such a douchebag."

wizard world
Overheard by mtsbspidey

Yet Another Online Fetish In The Real World

Woman: "No, its just not going in the hole… there it goes I had it upside down."

Phila Int'l Airport
Overheard by KJM

Seriously, What Are We Telling Children These Days?

6-year-old black girl walking with her mother in the rain: "Mama, we gots to hurry. I got black people hair and it can't get wet!"

Broad and Chestnut
Overheard by Lorraine

Sorry, You All Look Pregnant To Me

White woman: "How have you been? I didn't know you were pregnant again, congratulations! Look at you!"

Black woman: "I'M NOT PREGNANT!"

17th & Chestnut
Overheard by hotmomma

Quality Chinese Restaurants Only Serve Big Dicks

Homeless lady walks into cheap Chinese restaurant and starts begging for changes. Nobody gives any.

Shouting homeless lady: "You all have small dicks! SMALL DICKS SMALL DICKS SMALL DICKS!!"

She then exits the restaurant and spits on each of the windows in the front of the restaurant.

Chinatown
Overheard by but I don't have a dick!

Politicians Are A Strong Influence On Our Children

Teenage boy to his mother after asking for new clothes and being rebuffed: "Mom, it ain't about budgetin' no more.  That's that back-in-the-day stuff.  It's about lookin' good."

Bus stop, 19th and Vine
Overheard by Moira

Don't Correct A Drunk. Just Laugh At Them.

Girl with drink in hand #1: "If I were really drunk, I would pay people to hold all of my drinks for me."

Girl with drink in hand #2: "Don't you mean "If I were really rich...?"

Girl with drink in hand #1: "Oh...yea, true!"

World Cafe Live
Overheard by Or you could just by a beer helmet?

20 Is The New 30

One young black boy to another young black boy: "Yo, she a old head, she, like, 20."

Family Court, 1801 Vine Street
Overheard by Moira

That's Because You Are

Female #1:  "oh that guy? i don't like him anymore. I met his roommate and he has even more money, so i like him more."

Female #2:  "so you broke up with your boyfriend of a year, to be with this guy, and now you don't like him because he is poor?"

Female #1:  "yea but when you say it that way i sound shallow"

Roxborough
Overheard by Larma

Car Horns == Mating Call Of South Jersey Ho

Written on back window of car full of young college girls:  Hot Girls. Honk If You're Hot Guys.

in traffic entering the shore
Overheard by -S.1T-

Next Week On A Very Special Episode Of Hannah Montana

2 white-trash guys getting out of car. Larger fellow is obviously drunk off his ass and looks on the verge of vomiting.

White Trash #1: "Yo big guy, you ok?"

Big Guy: "Nah, I think I got diabetes..."

13th and Washington Ave
Overheard by DWB

Podcasts For Everyone!!!

Trashy mom to toddler she's been screaming at instead of watching:  "You don't need no books!"

Da Thrift Store
Overheard by Not if You Want to End Up Like Her

No After-Movie-Sex For You!

Some dragged-along boyfriend at "Sex and the City": "Damn, she put a whole bird up on the side of her head."

The Bridge Cinema, 40th and Walnut
Overheard by westphillygal

The Anti-Choice Crowd Will Be Happy To Know Their Message Is Getting Through

20something chick screaming into a cell phone: "Next time you don't do the dishes, Ima fuck my boy in that dish water. Get my babies all over your hands."

15th and Sansom sts.
Overheard by Anonymous