I Bet He Wants To Cuddle Afterwards

Couple arguing in the street:

Girl: "I don't have to like you!"
Guy: "Have you seen the size of my penis??"
Girl: "...I don't have to like you to have sex with you."

outside White Dog cafe, west philly
Overheard by Claire

Isn't spending a million in an arcade living death?

15yr old boy to group of other 15yr olds just standing around: "...and die OR would you want to go to an arcade with a million dollars?"

Walking out of Superfresh
Overheard by -S.1T-

Congratulations Joe Camel!

Honorable Mentions:
I didn't know Howie Mandell's child shopped at Superfresh - WhizWit

...On the Next Fear Factor - Scargosun

"...and by "million" I mean "Anthrax-covered" " - duh

Now THAT'S A Slogan That Will Draw The Tourists!

A guy is on the phone talking.  Two horse-drawn carriages go by on the street.

Guy on phone: "Jesus Christ, there's a whole lotta horse cock in this city!"

Old City by 4th and Walnut
Overheard by gitty up cowboy

The Outer Suburbs Haven't Discovered Sharp Cutlery

Two Hispanic 20-something year old guys in front of Wawa discussing what they did to go to jail:
"Fuck, man! I stab his ass! I stab his muthafuckin' ass with a muthafuckin' spoon, man!"

Lehigh Valley, PA
Overheard by sporks are cooler weapons anyway.

Mechanic With A Sense Of Humor...Still Won't Buy A Pontiac

Car dealership service person: "So we couldn't recreate the problem. I think it might be the water bottle you had rolling around in the trunk."

Female customer: "But if I can feel the thumping in the brake pedal, it's not a 16 oz bottle of water...."

Car dealership service person: (Plops a big hook-shaped piece of metal on the counter) "We also found this up under your bumper. It's not from your vehicle....and it's really heavy."

Female customer: "Good god! You'd think I'd remember running over something like that. Well... maybe I wouldn't remember it last Satur.... nevermind."

Car dealership service person: "Want to keep it as a souvenir?"

Pontiac Dealer, South Jersey
Overheard by Stay away from that car...

Your Title Here #4

15yr old boy to group of other 15yr olds just standing around: "...and die OR would you want to go to an arcade with a million dollars?"

Walking out of Superfresh
Overheard by -S.1T-

Your Title:
Your Name (pseudonyms are OK):

create form

Please Tell Me You Have Difficulty Hearing

Lady outside my apartment: "The doctor told me I was bi-polar but I'm just into books!"

45th and Walnut
Overheard by Claire

We're All In This Together!

SEPTA conductor to standing passengers approaching Market East: "Don't fall down, we don't have money."

Standing passenger: "Whahesay, they don't have no money? Who do?!"

R2 inbound @ 11:15 am 5/10
Overheard by god i miss Philadelphia

Damn Europeans, Never Answering Direct Questions

Homeless Dude: "Hey, can you spare somethin', man?"

European Man-About-Town: "Why don't you get a job?"(walks swiftly down Chestnut)

Homeless dude: "I didn't ask you that. I might take your job, muthafucka."

17th & Chestnut
Overheard by Steve Ives

Must Be A Hillary Clinton Supporter

Elderly Caucasian female ticket taker to patron at Phillies main gate.  "See that colored guy at the very end, he'll scan your ticket" 

Phillies game, Citizen's Bank Park
Overheard by someguy

Then I Doubt He'll Read This Overheard...No Culture Here

A 20-something man on his cell phone, explaining why he's come to the Frida Kahlo exhibit:  "I'm trying to get all cultured and things of that nature."

in line for the Frida Kahlo exhibit, Philadelphia Museum of Art, Saturday, May 10, 2008
Overheard by hopita

Why Exactly Is This A Problem?

Black guy #1: "..and she sucks on her own titties when she gets horny and shit."
Black guy #2: "Damn! White girls crazy!"

Rittenhouse Square
Overheard by Eloise at the Plaza

And Then They Fucked...Cause Shelly Secretly Hates Herself

A 20ish couple walking down the street. Guy goes in store while chick waits outside for him. Random guy comes from opposite direction and spies the chick

Random guy: "You look so lonely and depressed."
Chick: "No, I'm just checking to see if my moron magnet still works" (a pause as the guy stares at her) "Yup, still works!"

On the street
Overheard by Frogger

Sure...You Want -10 or -50 IQ Points Proof?

Pregnant Black Woman in Liquor Store: "Do you all have that wine for pregnant people?"


Liquor Store Snyder and Columbus
Overheard by jonton2

Where Is This Nirvana Of Which You Speak?

Woman on phone, southern accent: "And there are drugs and alcohol of every kind and I'm afraid she's gonna be pregnant by the time she has her period."

Phila Int'l Airport
Overheard by KJM

Honkey Alarm Plays Rick Astley

Young black kid said to his girl when they entered a store and the security alarm sounded: "That must be a nigga alarm...nigga just walked in and he done stole somethin already!"

Hallmark store
Overheard by PEN

This Bus Is An Express...RIGHT?

Woman waiting for the 47 with 6 bags of popcorn: "I ain't got time to fuck around with these church people and they damm popcorn. I got to take a shit!"

8th and Chestnut St
Overheard by hotmomma

Homosexuality - How Well Do You Know Your English Teacher?

Sign held by one of those Repent America fools: "gay by your own descision."

Old City at Equality Forum.
Overheard by I may be gay, but at least I can spell.

Everyday A Little Part Of My Childhood Dies

One boy to another (approximately 10 yrs old): "Hey, that sounds like guitar hero.."

Outside of Germ books on frankford ave during first friday when The Red Masque were performing
Overheard by Dr. Community Building

What Concerns Me Is That These People Can Vote.

Girl 1: "Isn't today a holiday? Like, Mardi Gras?"

Girl 2: "No, it's Cinco de Mayo."

Girl 1: "Oh, I knew it was something Spanish."

Animal Behavior Final, West Chester University
Overheard by I hope I got a better grade than she did.

Give Me Five Up High My Brotha!

Husband: "Wawa coffee is going up $.06."
Wife: "What isn't going up?"
(Pause)
Husband: "Salaries."
Some other guy: "He's got you there!"

Wawa - Does It Matter Which One?
Overheard by The Wife

Black People Don't Do S&M?

Girl(?) #1: "Is it wrong that i think its a turn on that he is such a jerk?"
Girl(?) #2: "you are so white!"

East Falls
Overheard by Arthur

The Anti-Progressive Insurance Company

Not a Black Guy In The Ghetto #1: "i don't understand why my car insurance is so high. I'm not a black guy living in the ghetto!"

Not a Black Guy In The Ghetto #2:  "You do know that they don't consider race with car insurance"

Not a Black Guy In The Ghetto #1:  "Wait... they don't?"

William Penn Charter
Overheard by Bob

There Is A Two Act Play Somewhere In There

Scene: City hall subway station
People are everywhere. train is taking forever.

A poor (based on his lack of clean clothes) Black man sees a man he knows. That man he knows just so happens to be sitting next to me. The poor black man comes over & squeezes between me & him. They strike up a conversation. It went a lil something like this.

Man 1 (dirty dude)
Man 2 (dirty dudes friend)

Man 1: "You know what? I saw a bunch of crackers upstairs fighting. They were all "yo suck man!" and "Fuck you, eat shit!"

Man 2 (dirty dudes friend): "Ha. fuckin white people"

-----A few seconds pass------

Man 1: "You know what? The other day i had a big rat down in the kitchen. It was huge, the size of a cat.  The kids were all screaming."

Man 2: "Coulda been a muskrat"

Random woman: "or maybe a possum!"

Man 1: "No, it looked like a real big rat. like THIS long.  What does a possum look like?"

Man 2: "oh it got a pointy nose and sharp teeth. you dont mess with possums. A rat, he'll run when he see's ya. but a possum, he gives you a look. its like hes saying "go on try me, i'll fuck your ass up""

Man 1: "Maybe it was a possum. it had some big teeth. and a pointy nose."

Random woman: "Yea i had one of those in my house the other day. damn thing came after me. I kicked it across my kitchen. gotta really put it to em."

Man 1: "damn... damn..man those possums"

----Train comes----
--end scene--

City hall subway station
Overheard by Dave G.

Outdoor Fucking Starts Today!

Some guy to no one in particular: "Hey, my name isn't Cinder-Fella!!"

Corner of 13th and Chestnut
Overheard by EAAN