(Couple walks up to CVS register)
Ghetto cashier: "Oh i'z sorry you'z had to hear that."
Guy: "Oh, us? We didn't hear anything, we were talking to each other."
Ghetto chasier: "Oh good, cause it was jus a lil too much, you know!"
Guy: "Uh, okay?"
Ghetto cashier: "Haha, but Seriously! I was tellin' him, it don't matta how big dat ass is, when she gets old its gona be draaaaaggin on the flo'! HA! Now take DAT to Da bank!"
(Couple laughs nervously.. exits quickly)
CVS, Center City
Overheard by On my way to work
Monday, March 31, 2008
(Couple walks up to CVS register)
Posted by overheardinphilly at 2:29 PM
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Musical coworker on other side of cubicle wall out of nowhere, “Have you heard that song Nikki? (proceeds to sing Micky the 80’s song by Toni Basil.)”
Other Coworker in middle of singing but not deterring it, “Yeah”
Musical Coworker, “Yeah that was a big hit…”
Musical Coworker, “Have you heard that song, “She blinded me with Science… (Singing begins again)”
Some Office Somewhere
Overheard by ImbicileCubicleMates
Posted by overheardinphilly at 11:57 AM
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Woman with a Teutonic or Slavic accent, on her cell phone: "Hi dear. Could you let Zsa Zsa out back? She's having diarrhea problems again and I don't want her to have another accident."
(I sincerely hope Zsa Zsa is a dog and not one of the help.)
Lobby of The Rittenhouse Hotel
Overheard by sweet johnny
Posted by overheardinphilly at 9:55 AM
Friday, March 28, 2008
Man 1: "Excuse me waitress, I asked for no mayo on my burger"
Waitress: "It must be those Mexicans in the kitchen fault"
Man 1: (Stunned) "Uhh, ok..."
Waitress (coming back). "Turns out it was my fault, I forgot to put it in the order"
Man 1 (mocking waitress to friend, a la Blazing Saddles) "Sorry about that 'Up Yours, Nigger' comment"
Overheard by Hortence
Posted by overheardinphilly at 3:20 PM
Drunk 20s guy hitting on hot drunk mid-30s chick: "Hey--don't I know you from Wizzards?"
Hot drunk chick (who has clearly never heard of Wizzards), crisply: "Wizards? You should stay away from them. They're shady-ass muthafuckas."
The Irish Pub
Overheard by phdchick
Posted by overheardinphilly at 7:42 AM
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Asian High School girl #1 in Catholic uniform to another: "So he wont fuck me face to face anymore. He always wants to do it from behind me or on my side or something."
Asian High School girl #2: stares blankly
(A minute later) Girl #1: "He also stopped drinking."
Gallery Mall - Foodcourt
Overheard by S.1T
Posted by overheardinphilly at 2:57 PM
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Guy walking with two girls, one on each arm. All of them fancied up for a night on the town. Girls dressed like strippers.
Girl 1: "My job is the only thing in my life right now that just ain't right. I just feel that it ain't what I need right now in terms of my artistic development."
Girl 1: "So I'm thinking about dancing at bars and parties."
Guy: (starting to giggle giddily)
Girl 2: "The best thing about dancing is that you always have nice clothes."
Guy: (giggling uncontrollably)
On South near Broad, walking east.
Overheard by nazca
Posted by overheardinphilly at 8:00 PM
Little girl handing out pamphlets
guy: "Ug, no thank you. I've had enough Jesus in my life."
Random woman: "Well he hasn't had enough of you!"
Outside the Flower Show
Overheard by Ryan
Posted by overheardinphilly at 2:32 PM
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Black Man #1: "Nigga, you a Capricorn?"
Black Man #2: "Yeah."
Black Man #1: "Me too, nigga! January 1st!"
Black Man #3: "Oh, you startin' the year off right, nigga!"
Black Man #4: "True, you be kickin' it off, huh?"
Black Man #1: "You know it. A piece of me do the ladies right! Start ya New Year OFF, nigga!"
7th & Snyder
Overheard by hotmomma
Posted by overheardinphilly at 8:12 PM
Monday, March 24, 2008
Philadelphia cop comes tearing in the door and tries to jump onto an elevator, followed by a shouting Temple cop:
Philly cop: "I outrank you!"
Temple cop: "No, *I* outrank *you*!"
Temple University Dental School
Overheard by Feeling safe in Philly
Posted by overheardinphilly at 7:59 AM
Sunday, March 23, 2008
A "homeless" guy that will occasionally bus tables for tips (even though he isn't employed by the bar): "I'm not homeless; I'm houseless! Home is where the heart is, and my heart is in Philly."
Same guy later on exhibiting his fine handle on logic: "Now, Jesus isn't God, right? But Jesus is the Lord, right? And God is the Lord, right? So what does that make Jesus? What does that make Jesus?! That makes Jesus God! WHOA!"
Overheard by Modern Drunkard
Posted by overheardinphilly at 11:56 AM
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Mother screaming into the men's room: "You in there?!"
8 year old black boy gingerly washing his hands next to a white yuppie: "Can you believe women?!"
Yuppie: "Damn straight!"
Men's room of the Ritz at the Bourse
Overheard by Bathroom Interloper
Posted by overheardinphilly at 10:12 AM
Friday, March 21, 2008
Sexual Health Educator: "The receptive partner is at a higher risk for HIV."
Client: "You mean the jammie, right?"
Overheard by Lager Lord
you usually don't have your jammies on during this - stef mac
As long as they're not Spongebob jammies... - crankyProf
Power-Bottoming 101 - The Wizard of MagicLand
Posted by overheardinphilly at 2:34 PM
Guy #1: "So what was the deal with that mail order bride?"
Guy #2: "Well, they give you $10,000 up front to marry her and $5,000 when she gets her green card."
Guy #1: "That's some serious loot!"
Guy #2: "Yeah, but I spent it all on drugs."
410 bus - Camden
Overheard by lewblum
Posted by overheardinphilly at 2:08 PM
Thursday, March 20, 2008
(During a temporary break in a group sex scene.)
Guy pops a blueberry into mouth of Girl, then asks: "Do you want another one?"
Girl (making faces): "Bleah! No! Those are tart!"
Guy: "You're in a bed, naked, with three other people and accusing the *blueberry* of being tart?"
my boyfriend's bed
Overheard by the tart in question
Posted by overheardinphilly at 7:32 PM
15 year old brother: "u no u can name ur ipod rite?"
23 year old brother: "Really, no way!"
15 year old brother: "yea...wat r u gonna name it?"
23 year old brother: "Frankie G-Stacks!"
15 year old brother:" ...."
In a house using an Ipod for the first time:
Oveerheard by annoyed by idiots
Posted by overheardinphilly at 2:10 PM
Girl on cell: "So he is doing me for like 10 minutes and someone pounds on his door and says they are going to play football. And he gets up and goes!"
Chestnut and 32nd (such as it is)
Overheard by KJM
Posted by overheardinphilly at 7:29 AM
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Guy 1: "So I was watching these street fights on youtube last night from over in Europe, and they were crazy!"
Guy 2: "Yeah?"
Guy 1: "Yeah, this one was a guy fighting like 8 dudes in front of a courthouse in Brazil and...(he keeps rambling)"
Guy 2 muttering to himself: "Brazil's in Europe now?"
at the gym
Overheard by S.1T
Posted by overheardinphilly at 2:25 PM
Two Russian dudes outside of the electric factory after being handed free monster energy drinks.
Russian Dude #1: "This is the best drink ever, because its free."
Russian Dude #2: "Yeah, thats totally true... except for the "Best","Drink","Ever",and "Free" parts."
In line for Gogol Bordello concert outside of the Electric Factory
Overheard by Ugly Knievel
Posted by overheardinphilly at 7:22 AM
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Black woman 1: "So, I was watching Obama dancing on the Ellen show."
Black woman 2: "Yeah, I seen that. Proved to me he isn't 100% black."
Black woman 1: "What you mean?"
Black woman 2: "NIgga ain't got no rythym!"
Broad and Locust
Overheard by Grady
Posted by overheardinphilly at 2:47 PM
Monday, March 17, 2008
Guy behind register hands little old lady, who has to be at least 60, her change (a few pennies) -
Old Lady: "What the hell am I supposed to do with this??"
Employee: "I dunno. Put it in your pocketbook."
Old Lady: "My pocketbook's back at the whorehouse. It's safer there."
Quik Stop - Frankford & Sergeant
Overheard by terrified yuppie
Posted by overheardinphilly at 1:20 PM
Guy #1: "So, how did it work out with that girl you met online?"
Guy #2: "It didn't."
Guy #1: "Oh, you two didn't hit it off?"
Guy#2: "No. She only wanted to date me so she could get me to join her pyramid scheme."
Marathon Grill Broad and Chestnut
Overheard by Garrett
Posted by overheardinphilly at 7:54 AM
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
After Flyers' Game...
Female wearing Flyers jersey to gentleman walking with her (also wearing Flyers jersey): "...that's probably the first time you've been sober at a game, too..."
Outside Flyers game, Comcast Center, Sports Complex, South Philadelphia
Overheard by Dying to Race
Posted by overheardinphilly at 9:48 AM
Friday, March 14, 2008
New feature here at OHiP - GrandCentral
So, you know when you are out at 2am on Market St. on a Tuesday night and some lady starts beating on her car? Well instead of calling the cops (they've got enough to do anyway) you can call OverHeard in Philly and tell me all about it.
Sure, I won't actually pick up the phone...it's just voicemail...but I'll be glad to put your voyeuristic tendencies on teh internets.
A few things to note:
1. The recording you make by calling into this number becomes the property of OHiP. So say something funny and I make a ringtone out of it = you get nothing.
2. I need to know who said it, what they said, where it was said (be specific if you can), and your name (pseudonyms are fine). I won't post your phone number online.
3. If you don't speak clearly I won't care. Like all other spam, it will be deleted.
4. I *might* put the recording you leave (in whole or in part) on this website or other websites. I'll reference the name used on submission and link back to the original post, but as most people know by now; once something is online, it is online forever. I try to control where OHiP postings go but I can't check everywhere and I don't really care as long as other people aren't making money on it and/or not referencing OHiP correctly.
5. Click on the button below (or in the sidebar) and GrandCentral will call your phone and connect you to voicemail. Or you can add the number yourself. Two-One-Five, Five-Eight-Six, Three-Seven-One-Two.
6. BTW, anybody calling without doing the Overheard-thing at the beginning will get deleted. I don't give a shit that Heather is a bitch, that your cat just died, or how getting blown by your Mom makes you cry. Call Dial-A-Therapist or Ask Cleo for that stuff.
Posted by overheardinphilly at 3:54 PM
Drunk Hobo: "Do you know what song this is?! This is a great song!"
Guy at Kiosk: "Yea, it's Elton John, Levon."
Drunk Hobo: "Elton John! Levon, Levon likes his money...."
30th & Market Train Station, Septa Kiosk
Overheard by Anonymous
Posted by overheardinphilly at 1:46 PM
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Crazy, not quite homeless guy walks into diner not wearing any shoes
Bitchy gay waiter: "You can't come in unless you're wearing shoes"
Crazy guy: "Jesus didn't wear any shoes!"
Waiter: "Yeah, well this isn't the shores of fucking Galilee!"
Overheard by Dr. Octagon
Posted by overheardinphilly at 1:38 PM
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
A young black girl talking to a black male Wawa employee over the counter.
Girl: "Are the pancakes made fresh?"
Man: "Naw we don't mix up them jawn's here."
*Girl gives an extremely confused look*
Man: "No, we do not mix the batter here, they come in frozen."
Wawa 36th and Chestnut
Overheard by The Cannon
Posted by overheardinphilly at 4:22 PM
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Wealthy woman, on bus at 30th and Market: "I was on a bus once and the heat wasn’t working. The seats were leather, so it was very cold, and there were threads were pulling off of the seats…I felt like a refugee."
p2p circulator bus to NYC
Overheard by Next time, take Amtrak
Posted by overheardinphilly at 10:48 AM
Sunday, March 9, 2008
A young black kid on a bike riding across walnut street while he has a red light. He narrowly avoids getting hit and yells: "DAMN! My grill piece almost got fucked up!"
40th and Walnut
Overheard by The Cannon
Posted by overheardinphilly at 10:53 PM
Friday, March 7, 2008
Annoying fifteen year old-ish boy to other annoying fifteen year old-ish boy: "What if your hair was blond...and you dyed it...BLOND! HA!"
2nd boy: (blank stare)
Overheard by wtf?
Blonde Ambition - Jacky and Why Am I Still Here?
Children are the future. The terrifying future. - Ol' Tom
I'd be approximately one tenth as brain-dead as you? - Lusus Naturae
Waxing Blond - leas_new_end
Posted by overheardinphilly at 8:36 AM
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Little white boy watching firecrackers go off during the Chinese New Year celebration, commenting on the people wearing earplugs: "Those are for deaf people!"
11th & Race
Overheard by I see deaf people
Posted by overheardinphilly at 1:08 PM
Big black woman looking under the hood of her car, screaming into her cell phone: "Ain't no MOTHERFUCKIN' CAR gon' ruin my MOTHERFUCKIN' DAY!"
22nd & Market
Overheard by serlingrod
Posted by overheardinphilly at 8:33 AM
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Pregnant woman, standing behind register which has a sign on it that says 'This register don't print receepts':
"Oh mah gaad, you a fool, don't you know stupider ain't a word? Damn.......Can I help you?"
Wendy's - Roosevelt Blvd, NE Phila
Overheard by doodles.
Posted by overheardinphilly at 2:27 PM
Monday, March 3, 2008
Guy1 (to lady): "You're a liar!"
Guy2 (to Guy1): "Dude, that's mean. You don't even know her."
Guy1 (to Guy2): "No it's fine, I'm French."
Overheard by JKill09
Posted by overheardinphilly at 6:40 PM
Guy talking to another: "You don't go to college to learn, you go to college to meet people."
43 Bus, Springgarden St.
Overheard by JKill09
Posted by overheardinphilly at 8:18 AM
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Couple arguing in suburban station...
Girl: "You're a dumb ass!- Whatever! Stupid dumb ass"
Dude: "Yeah...maybe I am, but YOU sure loved it"
Overheard by YouKnewItLady
Posted by overheardinphilly at 9:35 AM
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Customer: "I want a high definition camera."
Me: "You're going to need a high definition TV and a high definition burner"
Customer: "I have plenty of burners. I have a gas stove!"
Suburban Electronics Store
Overheard by Seriously?
Posted by overheardinphilly at 3:32 PM