Is That Like 'Pre-Owned' Cars?

Woman, yelling, "VINTAGE MONEY!!!!"

Little Pete's, Fairmount
Overheard by Jayvee

In The, My Apartment Is Always Clean, Way

girl hanging out in the bathroom at transit: "So, this guy I've been making out with has, like crazy OCD. I think he has like, autism or something...but in a good way."

transit
Overheard by Anonymous

So I'll Kill Her In Her Sleep Toniiiight!

Guy walking three-year-old twin boys to the corner drugstore, singing sweetly: "Your mother gets on my nerves, your mother, gets on, my nerves."

Fitzwater St. & Passyunk Ave.
Overheard by Mithras

Boosenberry?

Giggling teenage girls on the el (market frankford line):

Girl 1- "Ohmygod. He's so totally psycho. You don't even understand"

Girl 2- "Yeah... you gotta cut that shit off. I'm cutting it off for you, see?" (makes scissor cutting motion through air with hands)

Girl 1 LOUDLY all in one breath- "yeah you're right but i really like him and oh my god the show is soon and remember when i had a yeast infection for the last show and how crazy that was it sucked so bad!"

Girl 2- "well. it didn't smell like cranberries."

Market Frankford Line, Eastbound to Frankford
Overheard by save us the gruesome details

Of Course, That Was Before Beer

An elderly woman knitting in the doctors' office waiting room says to her friend: "There is just a lot more binge drinking now then when we were younger".


Washington Square
Overheard by get me out of this waiting room

The College Campus: A Liberal Bastion

"I was like, it doesn't matter; you still look like a faggot in picture."
West Chester University
Overheard by Anonymous

Nope, I Just Think He's A Dick

Drunk American Apparel Model One: *sigh* "I don't get. One week he's taking me out for endless beers and sleeping in my bed. Then the next, he's not returning my calls and when he does hang out, he's just saying he's too busy to fuck."

Drunk American Apparel Model Two: "Did it ever occur to you that maybe he's a big flaming homosexual?"

Medusa Lounge
Overheard by miss sweden

The Assless Chaps In Aisle 5 Really Work

Very young salesgirl to her older colleagues: "I finally got another chance to show off my tattoo last night..."

Macy's
Overheard by Oh please don't show us

Congratulations?

Balding fifty year old white guy talking to a black co-worker: “Guess who has the most diverse team in the company. I fired four Caucasians and hired four African Americans, but it has nothing to do with race.”

John Harvards -Springfield Delaware County
Overheard by Mix

Really Isn't Every Wendy's A Little Gay?

Extremely flamboyant black gay teenager: "Oh, this...this is the gay Wendy's! You come in here and this where all the gay people be."

Wendy's at 15th & Chestnut
Overheard by Anonymous

It's A Fucking Sign From God! Listen To It!

Obese woman upon seeing the escalator was out of service: "m'ther fucker! I hate steps! why's this thing always broke?"

SEPTA Margaret-Orthodox Station (Blue Line).
Overheard by rz

Try Antidisestablishmentarianism

Professor: Its kinda hard to say "habeas corpus" with a ball gag in your mouth.

Temple Constitutional Law class
Overheard by KJM

Classy And Good Manners. Mom Is Going To Love You.

Drunk Girl is giving head to her boyfriend on the train, comes up and chugs vodka.

Drunk Girl (to three other people on the car): "You want some? No, probably not. You don't know where my mouth's been."

Boyfriend: "They do, I think that's the problem."

Patco Train 8th and Market
Overheard by Rose

Mildred? Do You Have Enough For The Entire Class?

Down Ass Bitch rolling a blunt on the subway (to the entire train car): "Anybody got a lighter?"

Broad Street Line-North.
Overheard by Hot Boxed Train Car?

Sleeping Under That Bridge Is SOOO Worth It!

Hobo: "Excuse me miss, can you help me get something to eat?"

Girl: "Yeah! Want some guac and chips?" (Offers bag of leftovers)

Hobo, eyes popping out of his head as he takes bag: "For sho! Guacamole and potato chips!!?"

He walks away, saying "That's right! Keep buying me dinner! Heh heh..."

15th and Chestnut thereabouts
Overheard by Rayhonic

The Fortune Cookies Are Only Suggestions.

Three guys standing together. Guy 1: "You want to get Chinese?"

Guy 2: "No."

Guy 3, indicating Guy 2: "Every time he orders Chinese he's got to put another kid through college."

PHL Airport
Overheard by KJM

As Long As The Candy Cane Matches All Is Good In The World

Older woman looking at Christmas ornaments, loudly: "Here is what you need! Look at these! Who doesn't love big brown balls!" Everyone looks at her.

Younger woman whom she is with bursts into laughter.

Older woman puts down box and sheepishly slinks into the next aisle.


Target
Overheard by happy holidays

Not According To Mike Huckabee

Loud black girl after seeing xmas ad on screen: "Shit, I fuckin hate Christmas, gotta buy shit for motherfuckers and shit"
Loud black dude:"Hell yea girl that shit for faggots"

United Artist @ OVM
Overheard by keikei tryin to watch previews

This All Seems Reasonable To Me. It's You People Who Are Nuts.

Girl: "I always clean the sheets. You never notice, but I always clean the sheets."

Guy: "What? We don't even have sheets on the bed right now."

Girl: "And do you want to know why we don't have sheets on the bed? Because the other night, after you'd bled on them--"

Guy: "--I bled on them because you kicked me."

Girl: "I did not kick you! It was that mole -- that mole that started bleeding, which I'm very concerned about, by the way. Your mole shouldn't just start bleeding like that. But anyway, I had just cleaned the sheets, and then your mole bled on them, and I went to clean them again and I thought, 'Why don't I see how long it would take him to notice there aren't even sheets on the bed?' So that's why we haven't had sheets on the bed for a month."

12th & Locust
KJM

But Ne-ver On Timeee!

Man with extremely fussy baby (singing): "The wheels on the train go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round. The wheels on the train go 'round and 'round, all through the town."

On the El around 63rd
Overheard by Anonymous

You're Welcome

Girl: "I have an... mmm... tasty stain on my pants."

Willow Grove
Overheard by KJM

The Reason For The Coming Recession

flighty drunk girl: "I had 204 dollars in three bills! Two hundreds and three ones.

the dive
Overheard by learn some math

30 Is The New 35

Late 20-something Guy 1: "The whole back of his truck was flooded."

Guy 2: "Sucks." (pause) "You know what would be awesome, though, converting the back of the truck into a hot tub."

Guy 1: "That is awesome. Can you imagine tailgating at the Eagles game?"

Guy 2: "Taking it down the shore, driving down the Ocean drive in it?"

(pause)

Guy 1: "Dammit, where was this idea 10 years ago? When you're 19 in a hot tub riding down the street, you're a P-I-M-P, when you're 30 its just C-R-E-E-P-Y."


Baja Fresh, Springfield, PA
Overheard by Not 30 yet

I Don't Understand. Could You Repeat That?

Girl: If I didn't know what you were doing, I'd be like, "What are you doing?"

McGillian's Old Ale House
Overheard by KJM

Spread The Stupid All Around The World

Man with Google track jacket to native Philadelphian tour guide in Amsterdam: "Should we wash our clothes before we go through customs?"

Dam Square, Amsterdamn
Overheard by Fellow (Amused) Philadelphian

For This I Endured 40 Hours Of Labor?

Middle Aged Woman with 2 goth/punk rock teenage daughters (wearing chains, ripped stockings, snow boots and a vest)

Mom: "So, if your shoes could talk what would they say?"

Goth Punk Chick #1: "Obscenities, and nasty words and ya know, Fuck Bush, Fuck Cheyney, Fuck everything and everyone."

Goth Punk Chick #2: "My shoes wouldn't say anything. they would look at her shoes and just think, 'Damn, that is one crazy bitch'"


DSW Shoes
Overheard by Daniel

I Might Know It If You Hum A Few Bars

Black guy to white girl:

To girl: "Do you not know racism is?"

Yelling to everyone within earshot: "Does anyone NOT know what racism is? Does anyone NOT know?"

20th and Pine
Overheard by Anonymous

Please Say Elbow Is Euphamism For Dick...Otherwise I Don't Get It

young Fidel Castro fashion statement geek to friend: "Why are the security always such douche bags? yeah at the last concert I went to my elbow was on this girl's --- the whole time - the whole time! and all she did was giggle at everything!"


TLA They Might Be Giants concert
Overheard by ITS _YOU_DUDE

Tortured Philly Fan

Drunk Eagles Fan: "You seen this Philly Fan T-Shirt?"

Drunk Phillies Fan: "Sure, I'm getting the little woman one for Christmas."

Drunk Flyers Fan: "Yeah, but it'll be worthless when we win the Cup this year."

Sober Sixers Fan: "Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha"

Guess which of the people above is imaginary.

Overheard by Hilberg: "As a tortured Philly fan myself I thought OverHeard In Philly readers might want to give or get these shirts this holiday season. And, unlike the Mayor's office, no kickbacks were involved in this endorsement."

It's Not A Contest

Older blonde lady, stumbling down the street on the arm of a friend (Loudly): "THE KHYBER! I did mushrooms for my first time in the bathroom there."

2nd and Chestnut, standing in front of the Khyber
Overheard by yeah, well I just smoked pot in the bathroom!

Big Breasts Can Bring Out The Crazy In Us All

Black woman with GIGANTIC breasts walking through gallery. Crazy old black woman with 2 missing teeth points in amazement "Oooh Child look at dem titties. You sures got some big ass titties. Ooh sweet Jesus Look at dem things."

The Gallery at Market East
Overheard by Arthur Titslinger

Cocaine In PACKS!?! Can I Meet Your Dealer?

Woman in an office where I was visiting talking about the "good old days" of being able to smoke in the office.

Woman 1: "Remember Jim Bob*?"

Woman 2: "Yeah, he used to smoke four packs a day."

Woman 1: "Four packs a day? I didn't even smoke four packs a day when I was doing coke."

near 21st street and sansom
Overheard by moneyman

Cause Nothing Is More Embarrassing Than Statutory Rape

17 yr old wannabe thug to friend: "That's what you gotta do. Next time he makes fun of you tell him he's the one who fucked a twelve year old"

Barnes & Noble
Overheard by Green Eggs and KeiKei

Open Floor Plans Create Homeless People

Suit on his lunch break to suit friend: "It's okay. When we broke up, and I got thrown out of the apartment, I just lived in my office for a while. It was cool, though; no one knew."

Rittenhouse Square
Overheard by I need to get out of that neighborhood.

I Always Name My Mini Vibes

Lady 1: "Do you have a mint?"
Lady 2, rummaging in small purse: "Wait, let me see... OH! No, but I have a penguin!!"

25th & Pennsylvania Ave.
Overheard by in her purse?

In My Day You Could Do Coke Off A Hooker's Ass And Still Drive A City Bus

Old Man: "Can't have a drink, can't smoke a joint, can't take my PRE-SCRIP-TION medications without getting a DUI up in this city..."

Riding the C
Overheard by Get me off this bus

It's Not Exactly Overheard When You Said It Yourself

Dude: "That kid from Plymouth Meeting...He wasn't gonna do shit. He was just a shit talker. Then all of a sudden his Myspace friend from Finland actually goes through with it. That Plymouth Meeting kid's probably all, 'I just left some comments on his page and now he's ruined my life even more.' "

Girl: Yeah he's probably all, "Damnit, Olaf! You weren't REALLY supposed to do it! Now I'm all over Good Morning America and shit. FUCK!"

my apartment
Overheard by I'd be pissed too.