Gloria Steinem Would Be Spinning In Her Grave, If She Were Dead

Two Teenage girls stocking a shelf at a Hallmark Shop.
Girl #1: So, does your boyfriend still work at loews?
Girl #2: No, He quit they didn't pay him enough.
Girl#1: Yeah, I make NO money here. But I like the fact that I can get paid for doing nothing.
Girl #2: We should marry rich. Then we would never have to work.
Girl #1: Yeah, that's the American Dream.

Ruth's Hallmark Shop

Overheard by Card Shopper

That's Why I Use An English Muffin

Squatter: "You know what feels weird? Wiping your ass with a bagel."

17th & Chestnut

Overheard by Anonymous

Setting Some Pretty High Standards

Old Mom: "She was so crazy we used to call her Sybil. Wait, are you old enough to know who Syibil is?  I can't talk with someone who is too young to know who Sybil is."

Youngish Mom: "You mean Cybil Shepard?"

Ambler Little Gym

Overheard by Anonymous

Coming To A Clip Show Soon!

Young Women sitting at the back of the bus:"Can you believe who won American Idol? That girl can't sing. Now I can sing. Next year, I'm going to save up my welfare checks so I can go to one of those tryouts."

23 Bus, near Germantown and Erie Ave.
Overheard by Drea

I Ain't Going Out Like That

Other cab driver over the radio: "Got one...Broad and Packer."
Dispatcher: "You know...I hate to be the one to break this to you...but it is no longer afternoon."

2am cab ride
Overheard by kippins

I Weep For Our Preschool Educational System

Small child, pointing at a mural of a leopard: "Kitty!"
Mom: "Yes, that's a tiger"

under the bridge near the Zoo
Overheard by why do I have to hear this stupidity?

Education Sucks Outside Philly Too!

Twenty-something Philly girl, obviously entertaining an out-of-town guest: "And THIS is Independence Hall."

Twenty-something friend: "Wow, it looks so much different on TV."

Philly girl: "Since when do you see this on TV?"

Friend: "All the time! It's where the President lives, duh!"

5th & Chestnut
Overheard by I was absent that day in history class

Even Spam Is Overhearing. Teh Internets Are Amazing!

Spam Robot: "I Find Absolutely FREE PlayBoy & Penthouse:"

If I find something else I'll inform you.

Best Regards,
Vera

intersection
Overheard by vera

Where Do You Think You Are? Jersey?

Man to my husband, after rear-ending our car: "Why didn't you go through the stop sign?!"

My husband: "Because it's a *stop* sign."

West Philly
Overheard by Vis Major

It's Better To Save For A Large Purchase Than To Buy On Credit

Ghetto chick #1: "checking out bling in storefront : OOOOH i gotsta get me one of deez!"
Ghetto chick #2 : "girl, thats gonna take alot a suckin!, LOTTA suckin!"
Ghetto chick #3 : "i know thats right"

6th + South
Overheard by need any pointers?

Bad Advice. My Hotness Just Burns It Right Off

Neighbor Lady: "And make sure to wear a bathing suit every day!"

my backyard
Overheard by mtsbspidey

Teach, Administer, File Forms! Go!!!!!!

Train Conductor over speaker system at 9am: "Go get 'em tigerssssss"

Blue Line
Overheard by EavesdropDrexel

Some People STILL Don't Understand This Gay Thing

Struggling black guy to friend who has picked him up back-to-back: "This feel gay! This feel gay!"

36th and Lancaster
Overheard by Anonymous

Well That Was Easy To Fix. Next, Peace In The Middle East.

[Three colleagues talking about how the "Big Three" car manufacturers don't want to make hybrid cars because of the lack of demand]

Woman (to the others): "But I would buy a hybrid SUV."
Center City office building
Overheard by Anonymous

Especially When He Puts On The Spiderman Mask

Girl #1: "Is John less emo now?"
Girl #2: "Yes, he's less emo. He's way less emo. And more pervy, I like that."

Atomic City Comics on South St.
Overheard by my secret identity

You Made This Up...Oh God I Pray You Made This Up

Girl 1: "Girl, imma go home, change, go out, buy a new pair a sneakers.
you aint undastand, i got a sneaker fetish. i got sneakers in da box i aint even wear yet and i keep gettin mo."
Girl 2: "(looks at her head with a weird half smile inquisitive look)"
Girl 1: "My parents be like what you need mo sneakers fo, you got new ones you ain t even wear yet. I be out wit Tom and he was lookin at da new jordans and i be like, you need to buy me deez. and he be like 'you aint even mah girlfriend, i aint need to buy you tings'. and i told him, yeah but if you buying a pair you need to buy me a pair. and then i said 'well what you want if you buy me the shoes', then he goes (make suggestive face) and i go, uh uhh, but i'll buy you a pair a hundred fitteen dolla pair of polo jeans. girl you dont even know, deez shoes were green and i aint got a pair o green ones."
(pause)
"but den again i dont got nottin in green dat would go wit it."
(pause)
"maybe like 4 green shirts but dats it. i aint buying da green jordans fo 4 shirts, thas corny."
(longer pause)
"so i need to buy mo green stuff."
Market-Frankford El between 30th and 8th street going East
Overheard by Anonymous

You Didn't Get The Manual During Initiation?

Very Gay Man: "I need to sit like a man, wait, how do I do that?"

Drexel University, Market btwn 33rd and 34th
Overheard by Almost a lawyer

Grandpa?

Old guy, singing to himself:

"There's an ache in my asshole, dear Liza, dear Liza, there's an ache in my asshole, dear Liza, an ache."

*in falsetto*

"You got stuffed, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry, you got stuffed, dear Henry, you got stuffed, balls-deep."

The WaWa at Rt. 322 and Boot Road, Downingtown
Overheard by CP

And Sugar Covered Cheese Steaks?

Some 40-something male to his wife or girlfriend, walking by the glass cases at Chocolate by Mueller: "Do you think they have chocolate covered pretzels in Heaven?"

Reading Terminal Market
Overheard by Joe Mama

Damn Passerbys Get All The Good Lines

Frat boy: "Personally, I know for a fact, that she went home and fucked that dude."

Passerby (yelling): "Well good for her!"

Drexel Campus
Overheard by drexel spy

Worthless Pickup Line #44535

man in a passing car: "Ay! You ladies feel like suckin some dick tonight??"

Diamond Street, N. Philly
Overheard By Anonymous

With Age Comes Wisdom. With Puberty Comes Jail Time.

10-year-old boy to a 10-year-old girl: "He learned skills from his father! I had to learn my skills by MYSELF!"

Bench near Independence Hall entrance, June 1st, 2007
Overheard By Verity Kindle

Tokens == Lies

Crazy guy: "Hey girl, you got a token?"
Student: "No, sorry I don't."
Crazy guy: "You know what? You can't trust anyone's lies. I'm Sedgwick...nice to meet you. Let me tell you something. I have a friend named Bill, but most people call him William. His parents spent all their money to send him to UPenn. You can't trust anyone!"
Temple Student: "OK, bye."
Crazy guy: OK. "Don't trust the lies!! I'm Rocky; nice to meet you."

Temple HSC
Overheard By I really didn't have a token.

Pray They Are Pre-Law and Not Pre-Med

Four fratty Drexel guys are having a conversation.
The frattiest looking of them all: "You know what a yeast infection is: cream cheese."

Walking towards University City from 30th Street Station
Overheard By Marissa

And Ladies? He's SINGLE!

Guy who looked like a muscular Max Perlich pressed up against two female commuters:
"This is the closest I get to pretty women."
(Uncomfortable pause)
"So I gotta take full advantage."

Crowded El at 30th St.
Overheard by Patrick

Go Back To Jersey!

Big Pussy from the Sopranos bellowing in front of a crowd of people: "I'm bigger than Stallone... I'm bigger than Stallone!"

At the Italian Market Festival
Overheard by Lou Sarcone is my landlord

You've Gotta Be Quick

Guy #1: "I'm not gonna taste that shit! That's disgusting!"

Guy #2: "What? His toilet coke?"

Tampopo
Overheard by Anonymous

How Fight Club Started

Older 30-something eating water ice to younger friend: "I'm going to sit right here and watch the hot guys walk by. It's my therapy."
Friend, laughing: "Ask them if they want a lick--now that's therapy."

Near Family Statue, 18th and Market
Overheard by Tongue-n-cheek

Another BMW For My Psychiatrist

Mom: I thought all the harem were REALLY GOOD!

Penn Alexander Middle School Alaadin Production
Overheard by Anonymous