Interesting Pick-Up Line...Might Work.

Save-the-Children Guy: "Excuse me, ma'am? I'm a black man..."

15th and Market
Overheard by Well, he hasn't lied yet...

Only Between Two Cheeks

drunk girl: "have you ever eaten asshole??"

drunk guy: "Yeah ocationally..."

(drunk girl puts a glob of mayo on drunk guy,s plate)

drunk guy: "what the fuck i hate Mayo"

drunk girl screams: "You'll eat asshole but not mayo!!"

NE philly Diner at 3:00 AM
Overheard by Anonymous

Won't Fuck You Either, Huh?

Woman talking to man walking down the street: "Ain't no way he's straight! Dude had a motherfu**in mood ring! Ain't no straight motherfu**er wear a mood ring! He tried to tell me he's straight... motherfu**er ain't straight."

Chicago, State Street
Overheard by JHo

Must Be Mayoral Candidates

A man and woman, who seemed to be on a first date.

Man: "...we have the two most amazing asses in philly. it must be fate."

Johnny Brenda's
Overheard by RA

Eating Disorders - It's What's For Dinner

Three boys are throwing up on the street.
Boy#1: "Ugh we just threw up!"
Boy#2: "We makin ourselves skinnier, boy, we makin ourselves skinner."

18th and Bainbridge
Overheard by inothernews

Three Bitch Sauce Has Cream of Sum Yung Guy

Obnoxious Temple girl eating pasta with equally obnoxious friends: "That is TOO bitch sauce!"

the SAC, Temple University
Overheard by not marinara

True Love

Black Guy: "Gilr you be lettin all different niggas fuck u in the ass"
Black Girl: "yea well your dick smell like last week"

out front of 7-11 by margaret & orthodox at 3 am
Overheard by Jennanine

Preach It Brother!

SEPTA conductor not looking very official wearing trenchcoat and baseball hat and is LIRR massacare gunman Colin Ferguson's doppelganger: "Ticket."

Pissed off white New Yorker who was reading a New York tabloid newspaper and listenng to iPod: "I showed you my ticket." (Proceeds to show ticket again while holding it in a way to give the conductor the finger.)

Ferguson: "If you weren't listening to your headphones you would have heard me."

New Yorker: "If this was a real railroad you would have used a seat check and you would be wearing a real uniform."

Ferguson: "This isn't a real railroad."

Evening rush hour train to Chestnut Hill
Overheard by Anonymous

Viagra's Secret

9-year old boy #1: "Do you eat a lotta cheese?"

9-year old boy #2: "No, I don't really like cheese."

9-year old boy #1: "man, I heard that if you eat a lotta cheese, it makes your dick grow bigger!"

Fishtown Proud
Dr. Fantastic

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Save the Children guy: "Sir, can I ask you a question?"
Guy: "let me ask you a question. Are you in a cult? Seriously. you people stand out here all hours of the day in all kinds of weather! Is this a cult?"
Save the Children guy: (Ignores guy and proceeds asking other people more a moment of their time)


Broad & Chestnut
Overheard by Overheard (but not the REAL Overheard)

Esperanto

Girl #1: "So where your coworker goin'?"
Girl #2: "He goin' to Germany"
Girl #1: "Wonda' what language they speak there..."

Miscellaneous Bank
Overheard by Hortence

It Was A Documentary, duh

Guy at a Chinatown Bus Station to an asian-looking girl: "Yo, you know Chinese, ask them when is the bus coming?"
Girl: "I am not Chinese, I speak Russian."
Guy: "You kidding me! You are not Russian!"
Girl: "I am from Kazakhstan."
Guy: "Kaza...what?"
Girl: "Kazakhstan. The country where Borat is from."
Guy: "You mean that's a real place?!?!?!"

Chinatown Bus Station, 11th and Filbert
marrr

Damn I Miss College

sorority pledge: "so the other night, the sisters made us watch porn. and then, we had to turn our panties in to them so they could see who got the most turned on."

[and no, i did not hear how this young lady ranked.]

evening class
Overheard by sweet pea

In Other News, Allen Iverson Shrunk

hipster looking at Dr J mural on Ridge Ave: "Man, he must have a three foot dick. I bet his dick is as big as Allen Iverson"

Dr. J mural
Overheard by Anonymous

Another Step In The Decline Of The American Empire

School group of very tiny kids in American Decorative Arts (silver and china) at the Art Museum - one tiny voice pipes up excitedly: "It looks just like Macy's!!"

Philadelphia Museum of Art
Overheard by jayvee

Brenda?

Hipster girl: "Would you still love me if I looked like Tori Spelling?"
Hipster boy: Silent, with panicky facial expression.

2nd St., outside Khyber
Overheard by phoebecat

Thanks Mom!

Roomate 1 yelling from window at Roomate 2 walking out of apartment: "Hey Jimmy*! The girls are the ones WITHOUT the penises!"

Bella Vista
Overheard by Anonymous

Next Season On CBS

Girl #1: "She is such a slut!"
Girl #2: "I know. She's had so many men the FBI should go to her for fingerprints!"

5th and Pine
Overheard by Mr. Belvedere

Chick Sexing - It's A Dirty Job

Guy on Cellphone: "You have to stick your thumb in its bottom to figure out what you have, dude!"

*unintelligeble, but LOUD response from person on other end of the call*

Cellphone Guy: "I'm talking about CHOCOLATES, man. Not chicks!"

R5, Paoli-Thorndale
Overheard by CrankyProf

Battery Cables Optional

Man: "I beat my dick like it was an Iraqi prisoner."

8th and Market
Overheard by Elizabeth

But Could You Dive?

Man walking down the street, to no one in particular: "That pussy was so wet I could SWIM in it!"

48th&Chester
Overhaerd by hope he was wearing a swim cap

Close The Borders Now!

Cute little boy: "Is anyone from China gonna be at our family reunion, Mom?"

Mom: "Maybe"

Cute little boy: "Like maybe my cousin could be from China and know Chinese?"

Mom: "Could be"

Cute little boy: "Good... maybe she could teach me some more Chinese... cos all I know is Uno, Dos, Tres..."

17 Bus
Overheard by lllolololololol

But That's How I Make The Barbies Stop Talking

Teacher with school group of very little kids: "How is he supposed to be quiet with you *twisting* his ARM??

Philadelphia Museum of Art
Overheard by jayvee

Philadelphia's Answer To Tony Robbins

[old man with cool jeff cap exits 711]

dreadlocked crackhead: "Hey pops you got couples dollars i'm tryna get the bus??"

[old man mumbles and proceeds to his car]

dreadlocked crackhead: "SPEAK UP WHEN I'M TALKIN' TO YOU!"

old man: "Speak up? I'll speak up. Fuck you. F-u-c-k you."

dreadlocked crackhead: "I LIKE THAT POPS I LIKE THAT, THATS WHAT IM TALKIN' ABOUT!"

22nd @ Lombard - outside 711
Overheard by shouldabeenonfilm

Oral Sex Is Like Canasta?

Well dressed 20-something guy talking on his cell phone: "I'm tellin' ya man. Sex is like a bridge game. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand!"


Broad and Walnut
Overheard by The Fashion Police

Like, That About Sums It Up, Whatever

Girl on cell: "Well, the worst thing that could happen is like, I am in my second year and like, I am all visible and they figure I am cheating. And, like, they kick me out of school and I have to pay everything back. ... Yeah, well, whatever."

Penn Graduate Student Center
Overheard by Would like to catch you

For Very Large Values of 60

Girl 1: "There is still time left on the meter "
Girl 2: "How much?"
Girl 1: "100 minutes."
Girl 1: "100 minutes?!?! Thats like, an hour!"

South Street
Overheard by Devo

What She Wishes She Had Said At The Time

Nosy guy walking by: "Girl, you too pretty to be smoking."

Me (having a really bad day): "I see you're not too ugly to mind your business!"

15th and Chestnut
Overheard by Ms. Freelance

Carpet Matches The Drapes? Prove It!

Blonde walks down street.
Crazy homeless woman: "You cock sucking, pussy selling bitch! That ain't your real hair!"
Blonde: "But it is my real hair!"

Broad & Cecil B.
Overheard by Natural Blonde (I swear!)

And Miss The Pleasure Of A Good Dump?

lady (picking up high fiber muffins): "13 grams of fiber, I should just drop these right in the toilet"

Trader Joe's
Overheard by Anonymous

Fuck You Too

Pretty girl: "Overheard in Philly sucks. It just furthers the sentiment that we're second fiddle to new york."

Ugly girl: "I like New York."

Pretty girl: "Fuck you."

CCP Bathroom
Overheard by laughing too hard to pee

Nope. I Give Everyone The Stink Palm.

Middle-aged black woman to her friend: "You gotsta have TP. You GOTSTA wipe yo' ass."

11th and South
Overheard by Anonymous

Seems Reasonable To Me

Hot girl: "I should see if I can adopt 2 boys here. Then I only need a black girl and a white girl and I can be Angelina Jolie."
Her friends: "WHAT!"

Chinatown
Overheard by Jennifer Aniston

Just A Puddle Jumper From Margaritaville

man: "Damn girl, you tan, did you just get back from vacation? where did you go?"

orange tinted woman: "uhhh Tan-ocopia"

columbus blvd.
Overheard by ohboy

Clinton's Has A Stripper Pole

Guy 1: "What really pisses me off is how our tax dollars pay for such stupid shit!"
Guy 2: "Oh yeah?"
Guy 1: "Like Presidental libraries. Building George W. Bush a presidental library would be the biggest oxymoran ever!"
Guy 2: "Yeah, it would have 1 book. 'My pet goat'"
Guy 1: "Hell, if we are going to build anything with his name on it, it oughta be something like a bar or shooting range."

16th and Walnut
Overheard by Me

Vanilla Ice, Is That You?

Suburban mom on cellphone: "Yes, my son has recently discovered his ethnicity. He's dressing in early whigger. He even wants to get a perm!"

Exton
Overheard by CrankyProf

S&M Starts REALLY Early These Days

Black girl with braces tongue kissing her boyfriend.
Boyfriend: "Damn bitch! you braces just knicked my lip!"
Girl: "Well, I don't hear you complaining they be knicking yo' dick when I be suckin' you off!"
Boyfriend: "Damn bitch! you is hot!"

Enroute to Jersey on the Patco
Overheard by Ouch!!!!

Thug Life-lite

Black guy in car at stoplight: "Hey mama! Yo!"
Starbucks Barista: What?!
Black guy: (pause) "Uh, I didn't expect you to respond..."
Barista: "Are you gonna go? The light's green..."
Black guy: "Have a nice day..."

Starbucks at 9th and South
Overheard by UArts ATA

Kiss My Ass Kemo Sabe

Trolley driver, to impatient passengers: "I'm just an Indian, I gotta do what the Big Chiefs say."

rt. 10
Overheard by cowboycommuter

Philadelphia: Stay Overnight, Grow A Clue

Tourist Woman Pointing at 30th St Station: "Look, honey, it's the Franklin Art Museum. Do you want to go see something?"

17th and JFK
Overheard by Anonymous

Screaming At Random Old People Helps?

20-something guy screaming in the face of an 80 year grandmother type: "I just lost 10 dollars, a pack of cigarettes, and 15 xanax... I'M JUST STRESSED!"

12th and Passyunk
Overheard by Doctor Fad

Thank g-d For AA

Guy 1: "Yo Jimmy*! You're doing a great job!"
Jimmy, Backing A Uhaul Out Of A Tiny Alley: "I'm totally drunk!"

2nd and Christian
Overheard by Anonymous

It's Not The Heat. It's The Stupidity.

Girl #1: "I'm going to Arizona then."
Girl #2: "That's hot."
Girl #1: "What? No it's not it's so dumb there."
Girl #2: "No, I meant hot like the temperature."

84 Bus
Overheard by Kellianne

It's A Striped Horse...Figure It Out

Three little kids in Zebra masks: "Roar! Roar!"
Mom: "Don't be silly, zebras don't roar. What sound do zebras make?"

Philly Zoo
Overheard by what sound DO zebras make?

Budding Compassion Killer

compassionate girl: (points to the Heritage For The Blind poster)
"Man, that kid is ugly! If I looked like that I'd want you to kill me."

(a few minutes later)
compassionate girl: "You know, I'm thinking about going to school to be a nurse."

the EL
Overheard by mtsbspidey

Let It Go Bobby Flay. Just Let It Go.

Guy #1 at urinal: "That bitch is out of control."
Guy #2 at urinal: "Yeah, she's all kinds of fucked up. She needs to chill."
Guy #1: "She needs to fuckin simmer. Simmer and sautee."

Bathroom at the Public House
Overheard by teamcinnamon

Foreplay

Huge Angry Guy On Cell Phone: "OMAR! OMAR! TURN DOWN YO FUCKIN RADIO, MAN, YOU BEST NOT BE PLAYIN GAMES WITH ME, OMAR--TURN DOWN YO FUCKIN RADIO, MAN. WHEN YOU GET BACK HERE, I'M GONNA FUCK YOU SO HARD RIGHT IN YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH, MOTHERFUCKER!"

3rd and Washington
Overheard by glad i'm not omar