At Least She's Not Completely Alone in Bed

Older man, half asleep in booth, sits up and yells: "Condoleezza Rice has fleas!" then slumps back down in his seat.

Lawncrest Diner

And It's Definitely Not Child Welfare!

Guy in 50s or 60s to kid on trolley: "So here's the deal, she has four kids. They are all from this one guy, but he's in prison, for like 20 something years. So she's like looking for a replacement. So that's a no go -- my last name is not welfare."

Route 102 Sharon Hill Trolley
Eavesdropped by Jessica

Pseudo-Bitch

Attractive 20-something: "I'd rather go out with my pseudo-boyfriend than with my pseudo-husband."

On a bench in Rittenhouse
Eavsedropped by ccdoc

Is Our Children Learning Grammar?

Child on bus: "Momma, Momma, Where you be at? Ma, where you be at!?!?!"

(Mother walks over to him)

Mother: "It ain't 'where you be at,' it 'Where you is.'"

Amtrak Train (too drunk to remember which one)

Maybe That's Why She Wants To Argue

Guy to group of guys: "...and she wanted to argue. I hate arguing, man, it make my dick go down!"

Locker room of Bally's at 15th & Walnut
Eavesdropped by Mo BS

Fuck You, Stress Ball Boy!

20-something guy to 30-something woman: "No, it's okay, you're tense, we all get tense, we all have different ways of releasing that. I use this little rubber squeezy "stress ball". YOU use the F-word"

Art Museum Area
Eavesdropped by Jay

My Absentee Fatherhood Clock is Ticking!

Guy 1: "How old are you now?"

Guy 2: "28...almost 29....almost 30."

Guy 1: "It's time you knocked someone up."

Guy 2: "I know!"

Green Line Cafe, 43rd and Baltimore
Eavesdropped by manyalasagna

This is a VERY Expensive Baby!

Woman 1: "Where's the baby?!"

Woman 2: "He's right over there. No one's going to steal your baby."

Woman 1: "Are you kidding? He's mixed. You can get a lot for a biracial baby these days."

Shoe store in West Philly
Eavesdropped by Dorkica

Mmm...So Very Tempting...

Drunk Old Man: "Do you kids want some jello shots? I have some right here in my pocket."

Guy #1: "No thanks, man."

Drunk Old Man: "Are you sure? It's been in my pocket for hours waiting for someone to take it..."

Carson St., Manayunk
Overheard by I See You

Astro Glide in Blue

Girl running booth: "Just imagaine all the fun you could have with a bottle of lube that size."

Penn's Landing, during Philly Pride
Submitted by melart99

Inarticulate Much?

Someone in office next door: "Armenian food is very similar to Italian food, only it's not really like that, it's different."

Temple University
Eavesdropped by catcherj

Kappa Sig, Meet Isle of Lesbos

One frat-looking guy to his group of buddies: "Are there gonna be chicks in here?"

At the door to Sisters Nightclub
Eavesdropped by m dawg

Nose Games Forever

Girl to boyfriend: "I will not play your foolish nose games!"

Rittenhouse Square

New Child Safety Campaign?

Little girl to friend while trying to teach her to ride a Razor scooter: "Ludacris don't like a girl that's scarred."

49th and Baltimore
Eavesdropped by Arida Rigmutton

Hack Job

Hack cab drivers shouting: "Hack man! Get your hack!"

Group of women emerge from the El stairway: "Single man here! Get your single man!"

40th & Market, outside El entrance
Overheard by Gigi D.

OIP Proudly Supports the Entire 5-County Region

Economy-sized woman walks through in a t-shirt that says, "PHAT FARM."

Male orderly: "Dude. That's some serious truth-in-advertising, right there."

Chester County Hospital ER
Eavesdropped by crankyprof

SEPTA Odor Comparison # 1,000,006

Girl: "Oh my God, this street smells like piss."

Guy: "Yeah." Girl: "Smells just like SEPTA."

15th Street, near Sansom

High Five!

Guy in "Borat" voice to man in crowded bar: "You married a ho!"

Olde City
Eavesdropped by Sarah

The Ambassador

Crazy homeless guy to random girl walking around West Philly late at night: "You hate black people! Don't be scared a me! Don't be hating on black people!"

Girl: "I .. I don't hate black people! I'm not scared."

Crazy homeless guy: "You scared!"

Girl: "No I'm not."

Crazy homeless guy: "All people in heaven are black, yo!"

West Philly (around 43rd and Spruce)
Overheard by leta & ris

Thank You, Geno

Pearl Jam fan: "And she starts all speakin' Spanish at me and shit. And I said we don't speak Spanish here - we speak American."

Pearl Jam Concert, Tweeter Center