Wong Wing

Customer: "Excuse me, I ordered 12 chicken wings."

Restaurateur: "Yeah, that's 12 chicken wings."

Customer: "Those aren't wings. Those are wing-dings."

Restaurateur: "Those are chicken wings."

Customer (to bystander): "Are those wings or wing-dings?"

Bystander: "That's wing-dings."

Customer: "Mmm-hmm."

Asian take-out joint, Center City

It's Right Above Market East

Drunk guy: "Excuse me, do you know the way to Galilee?"

Homeless guy: "Yeah, 9th & Market."

Old City

Now That's Progress

Schizophrenic: "First they had Tampax, then they had Kotex, now they got discotheques! What is going on here??!!"

Park bench, West Philadelphia

Knock Me Up, Knock Me Down

Guy on subway platform: "I think this mayor's doing a good job. People don't knock you down in the bathroom anymore."

Subway-Surface line, West Philadelphia

Roll Over Beethoven

Female customer, to friend: "Oh, you don't know the Mannheim Steamrollers? They're my favorite classical group!"

Record store, Center City

Shiesty Is As Shiesty Does

Passenger, speaking to other passengers about woman who was just caught picking his pocket: "She's shiesty!"

Pickpocketing woman: "That's what my boyfriend says."

Passenger: "Yeah, well he's shiesty-er!"

Westbound Market-Frankford El

Battle Stations!

Fry cook: "Thaddeus Maximus!"

Customer (presumably named Thaddeus): "Hey man, how's it going?"

Fry cook: "Battle stations! Battle stations!"

Thaddeus: "You don't have french fries?"

Fry cook: "That's a baked potato, it's pretty much the same thing as a french fry."

Cafeteria; Horsham, PA